Press deadlines mean there's nary a whisper of Whitney Houston's tragic passing, but plenty of other juicy chitter chatter makes it into the mags this week.

You may or may not have seen the pics of Jaime Ridge and her mother Sally sitting in the front row at Sonny Bill Williams' recent fight against Clarence Tillman in Hamilton last week. I can't figure out which woman's making the bigger doe eyes at him, but onwards!

New Idea runs a story on 'Jaime and Sonny Bill's Knock Out Romance.' I don't know about this story. For one thing it spells Jaime's name 'Jaime', 'Jamie' and 'Jaimee' throughout, and reports her mother Sally was married to former Black Cap Adam Parore (the pair were engaged, but never wed).

The mag turns to the professionals to analyse the young couple's fledgling relationship, and reports that 'experts are warning that the strains of being a celebrity couple could prove their undoing.'

Come on, I don't think anyone is entertaining the idea that the pair of them will celebrate a golden wedding anniversary. I said to some friends last week I've had leg hair longer than their relationship.

"If they are doing it to pump up their career I'd have doubts whether they can last," says relationship therapist Pauline Griffiths, stating the obvious. I wouldn't imagine he'd need any more publicity.

"These two have a combination of chemistry, physical attractiveness, vitality and youth. But young people exploring relationships need time and space to make mistakes," says Brenda Rawlings.

Opinions on the couple's body language differ, ranging from 'bored' to 'clearly connected.'
 
Says one expert on Jaime's photo op ringside: "Jaime looks supportive. She may have been making a private sexy comment."

She could have been telling him she had wind. Assuming a sexy comment is quite a leap in speculation.

And Pauline's words of warning to the couple? "Be careful online and of fans offering extras!"

Indeed.

On second thoughts, perhaps we shouldn't be giving their burning hunger for publicity any oxygen.

Jonah Lomu is back on the front of the Woman's Weekly this week with wife Nadene, sharing the news that he needs a second kidney transplant.

The former rugby star spends three nights a week on dialysis and is suffering from extremely low immunity, but maintains a positive attitude despite his medical woes.

"We were hoping to see some improvement, but nothing has made any difference, so the next step is to try and find a donor," says Jonah of his ailing organ.

"It's important right now that I make do with what I've got and make things as normal as possible - for the boys' sake," says Lomu of sons Brayley (three) and Dhyreille (16 months),

"I do often tease Jonah that I ended up with the wrong end of the stick - I got him after all the good stuff had finished!" 'laughs' Nadene in a joke that doesn't seem entirely appropriate.

Woman's Day reports Victoria Beckham is desperate for surgery after the birth of baby Harper seven months ago.

"Victoria has always respected women like her mum who say they'll 'grow old gracefully', but says that's just not her and if there's something to fix it, she'll do it."

All this despite Victoria being in amazing shape when she posed in I.D. magazine recently.

It's an admirably honest attitude, but Posh doesn't have the most truthful track record when it comes to the surgeon's knife. Remember her attempting to insist that those bulbous grapefruit-sized boobs were naturally hers, and then having to admit in court that she lied?

"It's totally ridiculous, but she says she can't bear the sight of the stretch marks across her stomach and breasts, the dimply cellulite on her legs and the saggy skin that's forming around her neck. She also moans about the crow's feet around her eyes, that no-one notices apart from her!"

Posh won't undress in front of her husband and refuses to wear a bikini even around her own swimming pool.

Listen up, lady. You've famously always been obsessed with your body but if a man of the calibre of David Beckham still fancies you, I would quit worrying. You've a hot husband, squillions of dollars, four healthy kids and a great career. Just get over yourself.

Kris Humphries - I honestly nearly called him Kris Kardashian - is proving to have somewhat of a backbone, scrapping for his divorce trial with Kim Kardashian to be aired on American telly.  New Idea reports the basketball star wants to 'expose the M.O. of reality TV' and prove that Kim only ever married him for TV ratings.

Kris told US TV of his marriage: "To me, it was real. I would never go through something or do something that wasn't real or I didn't believe in."

In a comment which will make you choke on the hypocrisy, the Kardashian clan is reportedly furious at Humphries for his latest demand. "They can't believe he would even think about trying to televise their laundry in public."

Right. Because giving birth on TV isn't pushing the boundary of good taste, but this guy is sharing too much?

Kim's reportedly trying to go good girl in order to win over committed Christian quarterback Tim Tebow, and is talking of 'starting a Bible study group with my friends.'

Woman's Day leads this week with 'Special Bond: The Queen's Secret Plan For Kate'. The Duchess of Cambridge has been summoned by Queen Elizabeth herself who wants to 'guide and prepare' the young royal for her future role sitting on the British throne.

"It has all come about quite suddenly, because the jubilee has made the Queen realise how fast time goes by and that one day she won't be here anymore," says a source.

The Queen has reportedly told aides she's waited a long time for such a 'graceful and mature' person to join the family. Take that, Mike Tindall.

Prince William, however, is apparently not so keen at the thought of taking the throne - as it would mean the death of his beloved granny.
 
"Wills also hates the thought of robbing his dad of his right to be king. They haven't ever talked about it, but Charles is a sensitive man and it's clear he wouldn't like Camilla feeling she's not good enough to be queen."

Well boo sucks to Camilla.

New Idea leads with that most overrated of celebrities by association, Pippa Middleton, and her 'Shock TV Tell-All.' I can tell you from just reading the headline that this girl knows on which side her bread is buttered, and it's not the side of the TV talk show. If she does appear on American telly she won't be dishing anything juicy, trust.

It's the publicity tour for her 'eagerly anticipated' party planning book which is causing this supposed feeding frenzy by US TV networks. If you are eagerly anticipating this book, please get in touch and let me know. I will respond by slapping you.

Pippa's rumoured to be asking for over half a million dollars for an hour-long TV interview.

"She's inexperienced in dealing with the media, yet she's going to be grilled by seasoned professionals," reports a source.

"She may give in under pressure, and Kate has pleaded with Pippa to refuse any interview requests."

With Prince William away in the Falklands insiders predict a 'tricky time' for the Middleton sisters if the interview goes ahead.

Want to read about Shortland Street's Ido Drent and new wife losing their virginity on honeymoon? Me neither! But there the story is, peering out from the Woman's Day. I read 'It Was Worth The Wait' and keep turning the pages, thank you very much.

New Idea floats the idea that Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux may be set to tie the knot in Greece. Jen's dad John is Greek and the star lived in Greece for a year as a child.

"She loves the country and with all its economic problems at the moment, she thinks a high-profile wedding there could make a difference."

Aniston single-handedly revives the Greek economy through marriage? Jen for the sainthood!

Peaches Geldof wears a 'Baby on Board' badge so people on London's Tube will give up their seats for her. Although I may have mentioned this snippet a couple of weeks ago, from my time in London I wouldn't believe people on the Tube would give you their seat if you were giving birth, let alone merely pregnant.

"There's times like, 'We gotta get up, here are your shoes. Drink this Coke…right now!'"

- Brad Pitt on what it takes to wrangle a gaggle of six kids in the morning.

And that's all from the mags this week!