The love of a good peanut slab, Brian Tamaki's personal grooming and how tamarillos relate to male genitalia all made the grade of celebrity Tweeting this week. Read on!
"Obviously god also gave Brian Tamaki a vision of how perfectly man-scaped his eyebrows should be #wouldmakeadragqueenproud"
- Stacey Morrison knows what's important when it comes to smarmy pastors.
"usually at parties i don't do well with girls. i tried a new technique and went as bishop brian tamaki: GREAT SUCCESS."
- Hair product or eyebrow precision must be the key for David Farrier.
"That awkward moment when your own fart makes you jump..."
- I'd like to add to that the moment when your own fart wakes you up, Gok Wan.
"I wanna be America's next Top Model...oh wow.. I gotta go work out... xxxxo nite"
- There's a few more factors standing in the way of this dream than just your workout regime, Kirstie Alley.
"Wow. What a week. Congratulations to that girl for being The Voice, that bloke for being The Apprentice and that woman for still being Queen."
- One of these things is not like the other, Ricky Gervais.
"Apple haters are such whiny little babies! Why expend energy crying about choices made by strangers. Mind your own biz bitches. Morning.x"
"It's like being annoyed that somebody somewhere is not riding the same bike as you. Evidence of deeper sadness/ unfulfilled life/twattiness."
- Simon Pegg lays it on the line.
"I challenge the makers of "Battleship" to follow it up with "Backgammon", "Yahtzee", "Boggle", and "Sorry!""
- Seth MacFarlane, I'd like to add 'Guess Who' to that list.
"Russell Brand @rustyrockets & Angelina Jolie both turn 37 today! Which makes me wonder, has anyone ever seen them in the same room together?"
- They would make one hell of a couple, Ellen DeGeneres.
"Woke up after passing out in the wrong bed. Its always a bed hopping game in my house...who's in what bed tonight. All about getting sleep!"
- It's a weird game of musical boudoirs for a very pregnant Kourtney Kardashian.
"I should imagine Prince Philip is rather enjoying his quiet hospital bed than listening to Robbie Williams and Jessie J"
- I think most people would, Hilary Barry.
"I had a coffee in Ethiopia. I'm pretty sure it'll keep me awake until August...."
- Rachel Smalley gets a taste of the good stuff in Africa.
"Thinking about starting a fight in the multi faith prayer room at heathrow."
- Is it wrong I would really like to see that, Madeleine Sami?
"People always say turn the other cheek... I've never been good at that.. I wanna punch you in the face.. Then I'll turn the other cheek."
- I like Ice-T's style.
"If KFC sold vomit in a sack "for a limited time only" there would still be a queue round the block."
- Am assuming Ali Ikram won't be rushing out to acquire the new KFC pie.
"Purchased a bottomless pit on Amazon. It arrived, kept digging in the box, nothing there."
- Steve Martin cracks a funny.
"I love my new puppy but I just had to wipe her butthole clean for a half hour. Alright, I didn't have to."
- Bob Saget gets a tad overfamiliar with his new pet.
"I've got little feet because nothing grows in the shade :)"
- How can you not love Dolly Parton?
"So BT have fixed my internet! They declined my kind offer to suck a hairy plum. Their loss...."
- Jonathan Ross holds on to his hairy plums for someone who'd appreciate them.
"I've had a threesome once. It was with 2 of my Sisters. Guess which ones. Hint: Her name starts with a K."
- Rob Kardashian may have many things, but it doesn't seem a good sense of humour is one of them. PS: Ewwww.
"Getting back together with Crystal Harris shouldn't be a big surprise, since I have a history of remaining close to former girlfriends."
"It's Mary O'Conner that brought Crystal Harris back. Crystal was miserable & said so. Mary told Crystal to write & tell me, which she did."
- Hugh Hefner takes to Twitter to explain his reunion with his own runaway bride, Crystal Harris.
"I'm all for waving a bit of bunting but my friend has just turned up at my house with a Union Jack vajazzle #justwrong"
"My friend with the Union Jack Vajazzle now wants to go down the Thames and do a handstand when the Queen passes #evenmorewrong"
- Alan Carr and pals get into the Jubilee spirit
"After surprising people on Saturday Breakfast by admitting on air that I'd never had a tamarillo before, "Ross" emailed in..."
"He asked if "the Maori one...would be equally surprised to here that in my 40+ yrs...I have never had a another mans penis in my mouth?"
"I mean, whats that got to do with Tamarillos? LOL..."
- Tamati Coffey discovers one man's tamarillo must be another's forbidden fruit.
"I am very good at eating peanut slabs."
- I suspect Dai Henwood and I may well be kindred spirits.
"Gardening tip: If you plant chocolate-covered coffee beans three inches apart, they will grow into a family of rats."
- Help for your garden Stephen Colbert style.