Rumer Willis is Miss Golden Globe and one of the first to arrive. A tint of red hair, quite a cute dress but nothing spectacular. I guess they don't want her to outshine the winners. Mind you, it's Rumer Willis, guys! It's got a big full skirt which makes her body look really short. A bit unsure of the wisdom of a dark red hair with a purple gown, but her face and hair looks pretty nice.

Kevin Connolly, the little douche who used to date Nicky Hilton, is nominated for Entourage. He speaks fast, and must have taken ages getting the little flick at the front of his hair. Thin lipped.

Oh my Lord he talks fast! Is he set on fast forward? Jeez.

Frieda Pinto from Slumdog Millionaire is so beautiful and so composed, but the colour of her dress, some dirty sort of mustardy-lime, is not too flash. The cast gives Giuliana a couple of Bollywood moves. Ah, it's so cute! Did I mention how much I want this movie to win?

Olivia Wilde from House goes for the princess look with a full tulle skirt on a lilac gown. Love the colour, but with that bod she could rock something slinkier. Perhaps everyone ate too much over Christmas? There's a lot of full skirts around.

Oh God. Eva Longoria Parker is here in red, Reem Acra, despite no one on her show being nominated for anything. Red, tight, train, sleek up do. Streamlined. Beautiful silhouette, but she still reeks of desperation. Boobs up there, no doubt to try and ignite tongues wagging about pregnancy rumours again.

She's wearing heaps of concealer, and asks Ryan if ‘maybe you can get me a job?' Times must be hard! She cosies up to Aaron Eckhart, who looks at her weird and asks if she's been drinking. Hee.

Evan Rachel Wood, long touted to be the poor man's Dita Von Teese, looks really good, really grown up, but very thin. Layered, textured, dark, a great shape.

Debra Messing looks a bit baggy round the bust area. I know she has a flat chest, but isn't that what a proper dress fitting is for? I don't like the shine on it. It looks like a bridesmaid's dress, and a rather cheap one at that. I think it's the halter, which she's worn before. Cool earrings though, I bet they're expensive. She's gone for the Hermione Granger-style bushy schoolgirl ponytail.

Susan Sarandon gets daring with a suit jacket minus the shirt. What a great cleavage she's got for a sixty-something year old. We salute you, Susan, you and your boobies! She's all class.

Amy Adams, in black. Plays it safe with her red hair, and the Oscar de la Renta. Big skirt again. Cute neckline, classy, but a bit tame. Ryan digs for wedding plans, get shut down.

Christina Applegate - back in the spotlight after her double mastectomy. You know everyone will be looking at her boobage area, and she passes muster nicely. A beautiful sheen of yellow, doesn't suit everyone, but it looks good on her. Dropped waist, cool, different sort of skirt, great construction. Amazing necklace. Roberto Cavalli. I'm surprised, his are normally quite flamboyant, and some almost verge on the tacky. But I likey.

Anna Paquin, all blonde and brown and giggly. She's gone rather liberal with the fake tan, but in a nice California sort of way. Not like a dip in Fanta. She chose her dress so she "could breathe." Very plain.

Elizabeth Banks in blush J. Mendel with some great looking hair and a Fred Leighton diamond clip. It's pretty, the top half not dissimilar to a Versace dress Uma Thurman wore to the Oscars a few years ago. Presenting Best Screenplay with Seth Rogen.

Maggie Gyllenhaal in Lanvin. She always looks good, and the shape of her dress is definitely different to what everyone else is wearing. Assymetric, patterned, and a touch of the eighties bouffant. She's not afraid to be different. I like Maggie.

Drew Barrymore wearing John Galliano for Dior. Huge eighties hair. She looks like she's been electrocuted! Drew's dress is just amazing. Baby blue and grey at the same time, tight but not overly so, looks like it's just been beautifully draped over her bod. LOVE Galliano ever since he made Gwen Stefani's stunning pink-tipped wedding dress.

Schwing! Here's Colin Farrell. He's ditched the ratty ass long hair and the skinny bod for full movie star heartthrob-ness. I always had a soft spot for Colin Farrell. When we lived in Dublin the paper always reported when he'd come home to town. Everyone knew where he liked to hang out in the city and you'd see screeds of girls trying to get into Renards cause they knew that he wasn't exactly, er, picky with his conquests after a few bevvies.

Hayden Panettiere in a strapless dark purple column dress. She's nineteen. Why does she always look like she's 35?

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony putting on a united front in the face of divorce rumours...I'll keep an eye out to see if her ring finger's occupied or vacant.

Agh! It's an influx of Cyrus. Why does Tish Cyrus always look like she wishes it was her that was famous instead of her daughter? She's gone short and sequined, and could be going clubbing in 1992. Miley looks cute in white Marchesa, draped split line column dress with gold embroidery and long ringlets. Miley annoys me, but she does look .cute and age-appropriate. Hayden, take note.

I'm looking forward to Penelope Cruz, she never shies away from wearing something dramatic.

America Ferrera, swooning about how blessed she is. I can't decide what colour her dress is. A muted gold? Grey? Slate?

I love Eva Mendes' style, and she's goes for a messy up-do and a beautiful white layered Dior gown. There's always a touch of sixties sort of glamour about her with a bit of an undone edge.

Heeeeeere's Angie! The hair is down. Brad's got some rather unappealing facial hair going on. And Kate Winslet and Leo DiCaprio turning up together. Paying each other compliments and gabbing about getting it on in front of her director husband while filming Revolutionary Road. Kate's also gone for classic black. Her makeup looks awesome! She amped up the glamour but it's also slightly restrained. Does that make sense?

Anne Hathaway in Armani Prive. Sequinned and a dark, rich blue. Sensible. I was hoping she's push the boat out a little bit. I always find Armani quite boring, I think he's forever tainted for me because he's dressed Katie Holmes in those old lady clothes. Hair slicked back, very classic.

Hmmm, Marisa Tomei is up for an award for her work in The Wrestler, in which she plays a stripper. She seems to be keen to make up for her lack of clothes in the flick by covering up tonight like a ruffly schoolmarm who does flamenco in her spare time.

God! Megan Fox has long been touted as the next Angie Jolie but I haven't even been able to look at her dress because there is something up with her face, and it's not good. There's a bit of an alien vibe going on around her eyes. Either her hair is pulled back too tight, or a bit of plastic fantastic is going on there.

Beyonce's in Elie Saab, and she's worn that style before. Safe, but the colour looks great on her skin, and the material's texture looks beautiful.

Seacrest tries to get his claws into Brad and Ange. He keeps calling at them, but they're not biting. Last time they encountered each other Angie completely blanked Ryan and gave him no love at all.

Penelope Cruz! I hope girlfriend hasn't let me down. Bloody gorgeous earrings, big drop diamonds. I covet. Strapless, a nude-cream kind of tone, beautifully embellished fabric with a bit of sparkle. I'm thinking Chanel. Quite fitted and slimline. Okay, she didn't come through on the dramatic front, but she looks great nonetheless.

Diddy's with Ryan Seacrest, and I'm wondering how he keeps appearing at these things. Okay, he acted in a mini-series. Raisin In The Sun. God, he really does like to toot his own horn, that one. I know that sounds like masturbating, but I mean talking about how great he is.

I've had another look at the shape of Amy Adams' dress, and am now a fan. The way it sits and drapes across the red carpet is so pretty. And there's a bit of sparkle to it which adds quite a cool edge.

I know there's a credit crunch on, and it looks like hard times have hit Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez. She's taken a whole bunch of chocolate box foil and haphazardly sellotaped it together to make some semblance of a gown. There could be some recycled velvet in there too, but I can't be certain.

Sure, she's missed some large areas of skin, but give the girl a break. Or a dollar. Looks like she's tried to resurrect the neckline of that legendary green Versace dress from ten years ago to show us all her breastfeeding boobs have still got it. Have they? I need to see another angle. Mister Jay from America's Next Top Model seems to like it, but I'm not taking fashion advice from a man with frosted tips.

Ok, I've finally had a look at Angie Jolie's dress and it's boring. Again. Neutral, loose dropped waist. We all know she's dropped the baby weight, can't she blow us out of the water every once in a while? Having her hair down's a nice change though, and she doesn't have so much of a matronly vibe as she sometimes does. But she's undeniably gorgeous, and doesn't seem to be wearing much makeup which really suits her.

And that's it! Into the theatre they go.