We've been anticipating the auto erotic documentary 'My Car Is My Lover' for some time now at Y!X HQ. For those of you unfamiliar with this tour de force of documentaries, please note the ‘r' at the end of the title. Yes you read that right, ‘My Car Is My Lover". We all love our cars, but who are these people that take that special love just a little too far?

Elderly Edward and youthful metal enthusiast Jordan are both mechaphiles, a tiny group of people who cannot resist cuddling up to a Camry or necking with a Nissan.

Mechaphiles (so called because their ardour is not restricted to just motor vehicles, but also planes, trucks and boats) are a rare breed. Edward estimates that there are about twelve of his fellow motor Romeos in the online community, although expect that number to leap after this documentary.

Edward is an old hand at vehicular violating and has no qualms about expressing affection for his VW Bug ‘Vanilla' in public. Edward is somewhat of a lothario in the car community, he can't resist a cheeky pat on the bum-per of any car he passes, and his lust is not limited to motor vehicles.

Edward once seized the opportunity to make sweet passionate love to ‘Airwolf', the helicopter from the 80's show of the same name. Tragically, Airwolf was killed and now Edward must console himself with memories of their brief yet fiery tryst. Or did Airwolf take her own life in order to prevent further sexual assault by the furry-hatted Edward?

Jordan also has a polyamorous outlook on life, sharing his life and his love with his VW Bug Ingo and his battered Trans Am, T.O.D.D. (What's with the acronym? What could it mean? Your answers in the comments, keep them clean!). Jordan has ascribed male characteristics to his cars but insists that doesn't mean he is gay. He sees his attraction to machinery more as an alternate sexuality.

The two men venture independently to a car show in California, an absolute Mecca for mechaphiles. Edward and Jordan (particularly Edward!) can barely contain their excitement at being surrounded by so many potential partners. This must be the equivalent of a strip bar or a brothel for these boys.

Later on at the motel Edward can't resist flirting with the crews' car and eventually having his wicked way with it, leaving a trail of unpleasant evidence in his wake. His overriding love for that most famous of Trans Ams' ‘Kit' from Knight Rider means that Jordan's ride Todd is also subject to the amorous advances of Edward and his woolly hat.

If you didn't catch the documentary I won't reveal the graphic details of their love-making lest I offend you or risk disturbing the contents of your stomach but if you really must know, go to You Tube.

The cars they go for are generally old and decrepit, or maybe it's all their budgets will allow. All the same, I shuddered to think of anyone taking advantage of my rust bucket Polly, who looks like a beat-up street walker suffering from a gastrointestinal disorder.

It's human nature for us to anthromorphise our vehicles, but something happened in the childhoods of both Edward and Jordan that impel them to take their relationship to the next shocking and unseemly level. To them, cars have faces, feelings and distinct personalities. To us, a car might just be indicating a left turn, but to the mechaphiles that hot Honda is giving them a seductive Sarah Palin style wink.

But what of the future for these men? We must consider what part modern technology will play in the mechaphiles' changing relationship with the objects of their affection. Can they program the onboard computer to whisper sweet nothings in their ears?

Can mechaphiles look forward to the day when instead of buying mail order brides or blow up dolls they can just get their cars built to meet their specific needs? Will we see a sudden increase in custom-made wigs for cars?

For Jordan, who is introspective and acknowledges that his obsession is strange not only to others, but also to himself, meeting an outrageous exhibitionist like Edward has made him feel more comfortable with his mechaphilia. It's a compulsion he can't control, and one that he doesn't feel the need to change. It's a lonely road being a mechaphile, but as long as there are cars on the road, you will always have a special friend, albeit a non-consenting one.