For identification purposes, Gita is the taller of the pair and a former model. Although now at age 72 Gita seems to have had so much plastic surgery that she bears a striking resemblance to a pre-op transsexual.

She has led a glamorous and exciting life and counted swashbuckling heart throb Errol Flynn amongst her friends. Terry is a spry 79 year old who has also led a fascinating life. She was romantically involved with eccentric billionaire Howard Hughes and claimed to be married to him. She was nominated for an Academy Award for her performance in Peyton Place1957 and she posed for Playboy at the age of 55.

I'm thinking there probably isn't much these ladies have seen or done. They could probably teach the youngsters a few tricks of their own!

The first episode of the series sees them explore the ‘Road to Rehab'. They are ably abetted by Perez Hilton who gives them some hints and tips on surviving the Hollywood scene and sends them off to party with C-list chaperones Steve-O and Kim Kardashian.

Upon arrival at the club, Steve-O makes a bee-line for the bathroom to explain drug etiquette to his hot dates, whipping out a coiled 20 dollar bill in the process. We don't get to see what transpires in the bathroom but we can assume he's not rubbing Deep Heat on their varicose veins.

The trio return to the dance floor where Terry seems to take quite a shine to (pre-rehab) Steve-O and dances provocatively with him until the girls are escorted out at the impressive hour of 2am. Well, that's what the time says but I have a feeling that it was really closer to 7pm for our wrinkly ragers.

Next stop on the ladies road to rehab is getting arrested! They rock up to the Glendale County Jail and demand to be arrested. Glendale is their prison of choice, being the temporary home of Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton. Our acolytes of the social scene are determined to follow in their hallowed footsteps!

The ladies are finger printed, mug-shotted and be-boilersuited for their stay in lock-up. However, there doesn't seem to be much of a problem with the much cited overcrowding on the evening of Terry and Gitas stay. They get a cell to themselves for the princely sum of $85 each for the night. If you want to stay at Glendale (as opposed to being thrown in a state prison) you have to pay to stay!

Which makes you wonder whether Khloe Kardashian only had to pay $29 for her 175 minute stay. After their harrowing night in the joint our glamorous grannies move on to the final phase of the operation, rehab!!

Their first rehab stop is a celebrity Malibu retreat called Passages. The director of Passages explains to Terry and Gita that Passages is a mere $67000 for a month of treatment and rehabilitation. The rooms are palatial and you can get massages at Passages.

Despite the well-appointed rooms, the ladies are unimpressed; one girl has been in three times, all paid for by her parents. Gita comments that "rewarding bad behaviour with a nice vacation is not right". Dear ladies, how horrified you would be to know that your own dear Steve-O will wind up in rehab in the not too distant future!

Terry and Gita decide to find out what rehab is like for the other half and head to downtown LA to the Bimini clinic. The Bimini clinic is a far cry from the luxurious Passages. It's only $500 a month, and even then it looks like they are overcharging. This is a rehab facility for people who really do want to beat their addictions and the ladies are far more impressed by the program at the Bimini.

They talk to the patients and get a real insight into their lives and also their thoughts on why celebrities are always in and out of rehab. The old gals bid a teary farewell to their new friends and head off into the sunset, drug free and dripping in jewels.

I guess that the lessons learnt by our beloved ‘old skoolers' is that money can't buy you happiness, or salvation from your addictions. However it can buy you a whole heap of plastic surgery!!

Old Skool
Prime TV
Mondays 9.30PM