Saying Victoria Beckham is thin is a bit like saying the Pope's a bit holy or the guy who plays Ron Weasley in the Harry Potter flicks is a bit ginger. It's just indisputable fact. As the sun rises and the sun sets, you can count on the fact that Posh Spice will remain as thin as a pin. But even skinny Minnies have their limits, and this week the Woman's Day leads with tales of Posh reaching a new level of frail.

Rumoured to get her sustenance through only a whiff of cooking grease and the odd lick of the mascara wand, Victoria seemingly spends more of her time avoiding food - but lately she's been doing more of it than usual.

The mag reports that her recent modelling gig for Giorgio Armani underwear sent Posh into a dieting frenzy, while husband David's impending move to Milan for the northern winter hasn't helped matters.

"It's typical Victoria. The more her life gets out of control, the more she wants to control what she eats," a source tells the Day.

Check out the pics. Posh is wearing a gold dress which I find rather unappealing personally, but there's no mistaking her protruding shoulder blades, sunken cheeks and ropey arms. Girlfriend's even chewing on her own finger in the car, for God's sake.

The snaps were taking in London's ritzy Mayfair, where the footballer's wife had "theoretically enjoyed a meal" with designer pals Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana. How strange to dine out with someone who doesn't eat!

Bystanders say Victoria has a hairy face and thinning hair on her head, "telltale signs of the crippling eating disorder anorexia."

Something must be done! Spice Girls fans, combine your vast resource. Inject lard into her endamame beans or drip feed her while she sleeps. If Mrs Beckham gets much skinnier, the difference will only be more noticeable when David moves to Milan and is surrounded by all those buxom Italian birds.

Meanwhile, the Weekly has pics of one of my new favourite celebrity kids, three-year-old Cruz Beckham, out shopping with Victoria in LA. She wears: thigh high mini-dress and oversized sunglasses. He wears: a San Diego zookeeper's uniform and Santa hat. Last week he was snapped out in a Robin costume. God love him, he looks like quite the little character. He'd be a great playdate for little madam Suri Cruise - pity their mummies don't get on as well as they used to.

Plenty on the Aniston-Jolie war of the words in all the mags. Click here to read said scandalous feature in its entirety.

It's made the front of cover of WHO, and the mag sounds very pro-Aniston. It reverently reports that the actress "has it all - the firing career, the plump bank account, the personal chef and a body to put the Pussycat Dolls to shame."

The Weekly has Jen going on the attack on the woman who took up with her husband. "She kept quiet because she didn't want to hurt Brad or his family, but she finally decided she had to put Angelina in her place. She has a burning hatred for her and it's not going away."

She told pals: "Enough is enough. That woman is rewriting history and each time she becomes more and more blameless."

Imagine how many people would pay to see an Angelina Jolie-Jennifer Aniston catfight! There's some money to be made here, people.

New Idea doesn't mention Uncoolgate but does run a piece on Jen being less than impressed by pal Oprah sucking up to Brad Pitt on her show recently.

And according to rumours, Oprah may be looking further afield - there are whispers that Barack Obama could be making her his ambassador to the UK. Crazy, but it just might work. The Brits would always have a healthy eating plan, a book of the month, and some feel-good feminism!

Confusingly, Lindsay Lohan is insisting she's not gay, which must thrill her girlfriend Samantha Ronson. "I don't want to classify myself," she told Harper's Bazaar in their current issue. Meanwhile, they say Lohan's bounced back from her career slump with a guest spot on Ugly Betty and a designer line of, er, leggings.

New Idea has pulled some bona fide genuine gossip out of the bag this with their cover story - the first of a two-parter about Shane Cortese's teenage love child.

Oo-er!

Over four pages the NI's editor Hayley McLarin gets the dirt - of which, their really is none. Fifteen year old Tammy Hastings is blonde, pretty and gets on famously with her carefully coiffed father, stepmother to be Nerida Jantti and baby half-brother Kees. All remarkably civilized and non-gossipy when you come to think of it.

No more! I am officially over Nicole Kidman harping on about her baby. People have them every day, woman! There's a picture of said child which Nicole showed on the Oprah show in the Who and the Weekly. She's cute, but doesn't look much like either of them.

For more on Nicole's Oprah appearance, click here.

If you're into that sort of swooning, there's a four page spread in the Who. Nicole's gone all earth mother and is growing vegetables at their pad outside of Nashville. He of The Thin Lips garners plenty of praise from his wife, who told an audience at the Glamour Women of the Year awards in New York last week that "a man came along and said "I think you deserve to be loved. Let me love you, let me give you a home, and let's make a baby. So thank you, Keith Lionel."

Golden girl and Hollywood man eater about town, Miss Kate Hudson, has reportedly not been her usual chipper self of late. This week's NW ran a story on the actress putting on weight, running a photo of her in an unflattering frock as evidence.

The New Idea says her mama Goldie Hawn has had to intervene after Kate's downer on her look and her love life has seen her normally vivacious attitude disappear. "Her droopy face revealed a double chin instead of the usual dainty bone structure" reports the mag. Way to kick a bloated girl when she's down, guys.

Apparently Kate wants the romantic and stable life that Goldie herself has with long-term partner Kurt Russell. Hold up, Kate. You're not even thirty, and your mum's well into her sixties. Goldie apparently "encourages Kate not to give up on finding Mr Right."

The Day reports Gwyneth Paltrow and pal Madonna have become super tight after the announcement of the end of the singer's marriage several weeks ago. The blonde pair, united by their rigidly strict diets, life in London and love of Madonna, have been friends for yonks but both fear some upheaval may be on the cards.

Gwynnie fears their relationship is about to crumble now marriage and life in London aren't Madonna's primary focus. Was marriage ever Madonna's primary focus? And never mind Madonna, Guy and the kids - how inconvenient is their split for Gwyneth? I can't believe they didn't consider her when debating whether to call it quits or not. The rudeness.

Madonna, ever the control freak, is trying to talk her pal into moving with husband Chris Martin and kids Apple and Moses across the Atlantic to NYC, where Madonna plans to set up camp and the Paltrow-Martins already own a home. Will Chris Martin bend to the whims of two demanding blondes? Stay posted.

And from the ‘one is not amused' files, the Weekly reports on red-hot rumours that Kate Middleton was suspected of being up the duff. The mag relays a whisper that Miss Middleton "had sat William down and, panic-stricken, revealed she might be carrying his baby. Now there would be a scandal!

"It is absolute rubbish," declares one insider. "Kate Middleton is most definitely not the sort of girl to get pregnant accidentally." Hate to break it to you, but there's not one sort of girl who gets pregnant accidentally. That's why it's an accident.

This rumour started just as reports emerged that Williams has committed to spending another five years in the British Royal Air Force, putting any potential wedding on long-term hold. Coincidence or conspiracy? I'll let you decide.

And that's all from the mags this week!