Liar, liar, shrinking pants on fire! Courtney Love's dramatic weight loss a couple of years ago got everyone abuzz, particularly since the formerly slimline rocker had ballooned to 13 stone after coming off hard drugs.

There were tons of pictures of Courtney posing in a bikini and frolicking in the surf from Hawaii to Malibu, a new look she credited to a very strict diet and Slimfast shakes. Personally, I thought she looked a bit rubbish. Was she thin? Yes, and if that's what she was trying to achieve then mission accomplished. But with her rapid weight loss also came scrawny tendons, visible sinew and wobbly skin, no friends of the camera no matter how much you weigh.

Last weekend my favourite British peddler of smut, the News of the World, broke a story that 44-year-old Courtney hadn't lost weight through force of will and sheer hard work at all. Oh no! Rumour has it that the old girl had a gastric band fitted and simply kicked back (instead of kickboxing) to let the weight fall off her.

Doctors generally only perform gastric band surgery on the morbidly obese, but with a bit of sweet talking apparently our Court was able to convince an L.A. based surgeon into fitting the band on her in 2006. Technically he should have anyway, right? I mean, I'm sure weighing 13 stone is probably a criminal offence in Tinseltown.

"Courtney keeps laughing to her friends and saying ‘Everyone thinks I've had hypnosis, but why bother with all that effort?" a source told the English tabloid. "All I did was check myself in and have a fat band fitted."

America's First Family

Forget the Obamas or the McCains. Judging by the hoo-ha that descended on New York City over the weekend and in the media, America's favourite family is the Jolie-Pitts - and according to their matriarch their number shows no signs of stagnating in size.

Asked on the red carpet for the premiere of her movie Changeling whether the couple would stop at six kids, Angie's simple answer was "no."

And what news of the celebrity world's most beloved twins, newborns Vivienne and Knox?

"The twins are just the sweetest little things," reveals Ange. "They lay next to each other. They're starting to smile a lot. Knox looks like Brad and Vivienne looks more like me. They are developing interesting personalities. Knox seems more relaxed and Vivienne is more loud."

If you've missed seeing the other Jolie-Pitt tykes out and about, keep an eye out for pics of the family in New Orleans, where they own a home. Angie's been spotted out walking the streets with Zahara, Shiloh and Pax. Shiloh is so adorable that I don't even mind she's wearing Crocs, the devil's own footwear. Meanwhile, Brad's been seen riding a bike round town (without a helmet - tut tut!) and carrying a notebook with a portrait of Barack Obama on the cover.

But apparently it's not all sunshine and lollipops in the J-P household. Clint Eastwood, the director of Changeling, told press in New York he feels sorry for the wealthy, beautiful mother of six and partner of Brad Pitt. I don't know how, but somehow he managed it.

"I've always admired her talent," he told reporters. "She's somewhat hampered by having this gorgeous face, the most gorgeous face on the planet. She's on covers and all that stuff. But she is a great talent and it would be easy to overlook that, except after seeing this [movie] you realize that she is this great, talented person."

Tom Cruise to the rescue?

As if she hasn't got enough problems, poor old Amy Winehouse, or as Michael K from the dlisted calls her, the Crackie of Camden, has told friends that she recently got a phone call from the church of Scientology's 'celebrity centre' in Los Angeles. You know, the place Tom Cruise sucked all the life out of Katie Holmes.

The Scientologists were apparently keen to offer Wino access to their Narconon programme, which they claim can cure drug addicts and alcoholics without therapy, rehab, medication, or other scientifically sound methods. Narconon (Tom Cruise claims he's witnessed get people off heroin with its help) largely consists of taking vitamins, having saunas and reading plenty of Scientology ‘self-help' material.

That's how they'd get our Amy weak before they'd steal her cigs, ban her from her hairspray and hide nasty things inside her beehive. Wait, who am I kidding? There's probably already a nasty menagerie of creepy crawlies running around inside that weave, sucking Wino's will to live.

Anyways, Amy's said to be considering their offer, particularly as it means she'd be available to welcome her husband Blake out of prison when he's released in a few weeks' time.

All together now: "Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaake!"

Amy does have a raft of supporters cheering her onwards and upwards out of drug addiction, including Pink who told the Mirror "I would like to see Amy get well...I've seen people recover from worse," and pal Dita Von Teese, who believes that Amy is "our era's Billie Holiday."

Spotted

Miley Cyrus and Mickey Mouse celebrating the teen star's 16th birthday prematurely (her birthday's in November) at Disneyland in Anaheim, California...Angelina Jolie spending the afternoon with kids Maddox, Pax and Zahara in New Orleans...Mischa Barton leaving a Beverly Hills medical centre...Cameron Diaz shopping for shoes at Saks Fifth Avenue in Beverly Hills...Chris Martin leaving the Q Awards in London after claiming two gongs...Tina Fey and Jane Krakowski on location filming the 30 Rock movie in New York City...Daniel Craig with fiancée Satsuki (and his arm in a sling) at a tribute to Bond author Ian Fleming in London.