Looks aren't everything. Apparently. You all know how much I love the smut. It's right up there with Henry Klum Samuel, Johnny Depp, Coronation Street, sav blanc and Buenos Aires in my books. I also have a big soft spot for the eighties supermodels, when hair was big, bodies defied gravity and you could actually figure out why girls made good models by looking at them. They posed in skimpy bikinis, and acted badly in movies. They were way, way, way more gorgeous than everybody else, and they knew it.

But I digress.

One of the most super-duper models of the eighties was Christie Brinkley, the beautiful all-American blonde. She had amazing boobs, she had amazing teeth, she was the reason Billy Joel wrote Uptown Girl. She was also the inspiration behind The Longest Time apparently. Christie, I salute you! That's my favourite Billy Joel song of ever.

And now, with the public hearing of Christie Brinkley's divorce, my love for eighties supermodels and my hankering for smut combine!

Brinkley in the midst of divorcing fourth husband Peter Cook. She split from the dead ringer for a Ken doll after he was busted having an affair with a then 18-year-old in his office. They're not fighting over property or alimony - the pair both want full custody of their two children Jack, 13, and 10-year-old Sailor. And the fight is getting ugly.

Brinkley campaigned to have the hearing played out in public, and apparently got more than she bargained for on its first day. Word is even she was surprised by some of the dirt raised about her ex - including that he used to spend US$3,000 a month on porn (logged in under their son's name!), would, er, 'stimulate himself' on webcam, gave his office girl Diana Bianchi $300,000 hush money to keep quiet about their affair, and has been convicted of a felony.

Three grand a month on porn when you're married to a supermodel? What a douche. No wonder he was crying in court.

Adnan's back, alright!

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water - word on TMZ.com is that Britney Spears has been seeing her pap-snapping ex, Adnan Ghalib again. He's been spotted sneaking into The Summit, the gated community where Britney lives in LA. Apparently the pair aren't happy that daddy Jamie Spears is limiting their contact, but it's no surprise after doctor's told Britney's father that hooking up with Adnan again would be detrimental to her recovery.

I'll say.

Let's recap shall we? The Brummie paparazzo with the hideous landing strip wanted to marry our girl, despite already being married, denied she had the mental issues apparent to anyone with half a brain, sold interviews about her, was rumoured to be peddling a sex tape, stole off with her for dirty trips to Mexico and told everyone that would listen that Britney hoped "she was pregnant with my child."

Britney! Noooooooooooooooooooooo! I hate to say it but I think I'd rather that you got back together with Kevin than gave this greasy man-whore the time of day again. Is Jamie Spears the only one in this family with an ounce of commonsense? I think all the fried chicken has addled the brain composition of all the family's females...

Keeping up with the Ritchies

Hollywood's love lives have always been complicated, but Madonna's is getting a bit difficult to keep pace with. Rumoured to be divorcing husband Guy, who's currently playing happy families with her in New York, Madonna also got tongues wagging when she was seen getting a visit from Yankees baseball sensation Alex Rodriguez, aka A-Rod.

His wife, Cynthia, has supposedly left him for Lenny Kravitz, a great mate of Madonna's, and fled to Paris with the music maestro. I don't know if Madonna and Lenny have ever bumped uglies (but hey, thinking back to Madonna in the early nineties, odds are quite high), then this really would be getting complicated.

So where's Carlos Leon in all this? Cruising round NYC with his lookalike daughter, Lourdes. Still got it, Carlos. Looking good!

Hollywood's baby boom

And as if the current crop of Hollywood tykes isn't enough, US Weekly reports that Naomi Watts and her oddly-named beau Liev Schreiber are expecting another baby. Their son, Alexander, was born last July. Congrats, you two!