NW reports that Gavin Rossdale, Mr Gwen Stefani, is starting to resent his wife's high profile and mega-successful career while his own isn't exactly setting the world on fire.

In a very mature move Gavin didn't talk to his seven months pregnant wife about his worries, instead choosing to vent to the whole world via his blog. "It takes a tough man to be married to a force of nature like Gwen...'Rocker hubby,' if I ever see that phrase again...It's challenging and it forces a lot of humility.'

Puh-lease! Sit down, rocker hubby. (Yes, I did that on purpose). You're a rich, relatively good looking guy with a beautiful wife, cute kid and another on the way. Her success means you have time to tinker around with your own music and dilly dally around the tennis courts of Los Angeles.

The reason you're not as successful is simple - your music's not as good as hers. I haven't heard Gavin's solo music, but his old band Bush sucked the big kumara.

Now I won't regurgitate what all four mags have featured about the Jolie-Pitts as its nothing much new, bar some very cute pictures of Angie, Zahara and Shiloh out shopping in Monaco.

I love how my girl Z looks totally over it. Monaco? So last week for three year olds. She can't be bothered with ‘je m'appelle' this and ‘s'il vous plait' that.

John Mayer's certainly put the smile back on Jennifer Aniston's dial, and NW reports that the star broke her self-imposed six-month sex ban to get down and dirty with her toyboy rocker. They are officially bumping uglies, and I don't like the mental image that conjures up any more than you do. But is their age difference a problem for the Hollywood's poor little rich girl?

Jen's being called the latest Hollywood cougar - which the oblivious star was mortified to find out it meant an older woman chasing a younger man.

John, for his part, has told reporters that he's happy and that Jen is "dynamic and safe."

Dynamic and safe? Sounds more like a washing powder than a woman.

Speaking of cougars, the Day has some Mariah cheese served fresh as they run a double page feature with the new Mr and Mrs Cannon's wedding photos. There's nothing candid about these, but that's my girl Mariah all over. Pose away to beat the band, honey.

Can I just say I hate the white wedding suit look for guys? It's so Backstreet Boys. Anyway, Mariah, Nick and Mariah's boobs all like stupendously happy, although I hope Nick's divorce settlement can cover the removal of the six-inch high ‘Mariah' tattoo across his back.

Gwyneth and gossip aren't really two words that really go together. After several high-profile years in the spotlight as Mrs Brad Pitt-to-be, Gwyneth Paltrow dropped out of sight. These days she's more synonymous with yoga, mung beans, and looking surly for the camera than anything even remotely smutty. Even now she's made the New Idea's front cover the goss isn't that scandalous.

Gwyneth's gone glam, as we've all seen in the last couple of weeks, and apparently when a bird does herself up it means she's about to ditch her husband. Now as Chris goes on tour with Coldplay - around America - Gwyneth is taking herself and the kids to spend the summer, you guessed it, in America. Where the family has a second home and her mother and brother live.

Storm in an organic green tea cup, that's my bet.

So what's new in the mad bad world of the Cruises? Woman's Day reports that Katie Holmes and Nicole Kidman are forging an over the phone bond. Tommy Girl would no doubt not be pleased. Katie wants to help Nic (or as some media outlets have taken to calling her, ‘Batface') spend more time with her forgotten children, Connor and Isabella, in return for getting the good oil on why Tom really sent Nic on a visit to Dumpsville.

If you find out, Robobride, do share. It's one of the great mysteries of our time, right up there with who killed JFK and how Kim Kardashian's ass defies the laws of gravity.

The Day aren't the only mag running with a story that Britney Spears could be expecting, although I don't really believe it. There's definitely a bump there, but Britney's rep has issued a statement saying her medication makes her bloated. Do give the girl a break. She's clawing her way back from the brink of insanity and they're bagging her out for a little belly?

Although the belly could be explained in the NW, with the mag saying Britney stepped out for a whole 52 seconds on the gym treadmill before heading for the changing rooms.

Elizabeth Hurley is also rumoured to be pregnant in the New Idea, which means another poor little tyke being dressed up in knickerbockers like Little Lord Fauntleroy.

Brent Todd's still moaning about his home detention in the Woman's Day, really timely when you think that he's stuck in Matthew Ridge's palatial Herne Bay prison while people in Burma have no homes and people in China were crushed to death under theirs.

It must be an awful cross to bear. Ridgey and girlfriend Carly Binding watch too many subtitled DVDs, which irks Toddy no end, and once Matthew brought him a steak ‘when he was craving Thai.'

For the love of Pete, it's house arrest! It's not supposed to be a dance around the maypole.

"He has settled into a routine of working 7:30am -5pm at Matthew's Car-Fe valet business, coming home and trying to persuade Matthew to get him takeaways for dinner, and going to bed by 9pm."

That sounds like my day, and I'm not under house arrest! Although substitute the takeaways for twice-weekly Coronation Street and a good dose of sauvignon blanc.

While Liv Tyler called it quits with her husband last week and Jessica Simpson got dumped by Tony Romo, Jodie Foster has also called it quits with her lover of 14 years, Cydney Bernard. Rumour has it Jodie's been cavorting with a younger woman. Cydney twigged when Jodie stopped dressing like a slob.

Girls, don't complain when your man slops around the house looking like a dog's breakfast! He may not be dressing up for you but that means he's not dressing up for anyone else either.

Is Lindsay Lohan making a play for Nicole Richie's man? And why do so many Hollywood starlets fancy those Madden twins? I don't see it myself. NW reports that Joel and Lindsay, Nicole's one time great mate, were getting very up close and personal at an LA bar while Nicole was at home with baby Harlow.

"She is desperate for attention...and stealing Joel out from under Nicole would definitely get Lindsay all the attention she needs," says the mag's source.

Take a bow, Dina Lohan. Mother of the year, my arse.

And that's all from the mags this week!