Yes, Jamie Lynn is pregnant and just 17, but we've known that for seven months. What has piqued my interest this week is the NW's reports on Jamie's wedding plans. ‘Barnyard Bride' screams the headline, before going into the gloriously redneck details of the littlest Spears down-home arrangements for her nuptials.

The dirt is that Jamie Lynn's parents don't approve of her getting married and all the money she's made has been put in trust until she turns 18. So what's a down-home, southern gal to do? Get married on a $500 budget, y'all! And the fun doesn't stop there.

Jamie will walk down the (hay-strewn?) aisle in a Kentwood barn, resplendent in a $16 K-Mart camouflage dress. No shoes, naturally. Guests will chow down on KFC, the king of fast food, and Jamie Lynn's uncle Road Kill Willie (yes, you read that right) has offered to provide squirrels and possums for the feast should the fried chicken run out.

Should guests tire of the fine cuisine or sophisticated locale, crafty Jamie Lynn's got a plan to keep them amused - a mud wrestling pool!

This sounds to good to be true. Please, God, let it be true! And let there be plenty of pictures. It'll be a wedding for the ages! Britney's ‘pimps' and ‘hos'-themed wedding reception pales in comparison.

Speaking of down-home girls, our own Rachel Hunter graces the front of the Woman's Day, bikini-clad over several pages while spilling her secrets on motherhood, dating a toyboy, and how she stays looking good. Lanolin oil, sunscreen and not too much makeup. And a bit of Botox! Although she doesn't sound like too much of a fan.

Posh and Becks celebrated their combined birthdays in Sant Monica last week with a string of A-list pals - among them rumoured estranged besties Tom and Katie Cruise. And some other celebrities of note. Who knew that Diddy, Usher Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale had fallen under the Beckhams' spell?

Posh wished for two eye-poppingly large, comically bulbous bosoms for her birthday - then realized her wish had already come true. Crass I know, but you should see the pair of them poking out of her dress like two whoopie cushions fit to burst. And a patchy half beard is SO not Becks' best look.

"Prince William has some questioning his level of maturity" this week after ‘more larrikin behaviour.' The heinousness of his crime? He landed an air force chopper in his Kate Middleton's parents' backyard. William practiced take offs and landings in the grounds of the Middleton's Berkshire mansion.And flew one to his cousin Peter Philips' stag do. With the OK from his arir force bosses.

Er, so what? He's a prince for god's sake. If I was born of royal blood I'd be demanding golden cutlery and a servant to bend over for use as my footrest. He's young, he's rich, he's loaded, and he's going to be king of England. God, think what royalty used to get up to! I've seen The Tudors.

Are Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie the ultimate frenemies? Buddies since childhood, these two have had plenty of make-ups and break ups, and have never held back when it came to bashing each other in public - or their emotional reunions. But the news that Paris is engaged to Benji Madden, the twin brother of Nicole's boyfriend Joel Madden, could set the scene for the mother of all showdowns.

Paris and Benji have been dating a mere two months, and if the NW is to be believed Paris wasted no time in rubbing her supposed best mate's face in her good news - sniping that "I want to do everything the right way - marriage before baby." Ouch!

Word is Nicole suspects Paris of using Benji for the publicity - he's her third fiancé - and, in a line destined to be a classic, declared, "I don't want that bimbo as my sister!"

I interviewed Benji Madden once and he was as sweet as pie. Run for the hills, fella, if you know what's good for you!

But with friends like Paris, who needs enemies, right? Ho-bag Hilton recently turned on longtime friend Kim Kardashian during a radio interview when quizzed about Kim's curvy bod. Asked about Kim K's famous ass, Paris snapped "It's disgusting. It reminds me of cottage cheese inside a big trash bag.

New Idea seems to have gotten the jump on a Brangelina exclusive which graces its front cover, so exclusive I think this is the first I've heard of it. True or not? That, dear reader, is the beauty of the mags. You get to choose what to believe!

New Idea reports that Angelina Jolie has vowed never to have more kids the natural way after a dramatic mid-air health scare. Apparently Brad, Angie and brood were flying from his film set in Texas to LA when Angelina's leg swelled up with a painful blood clot.

"This time around she has had one scare after another and what happened on the plane was the final straw," says the mag's ‘source.' "There's no way she will ever risk falling pregnant again."

Although she did have a swollen ankle before she boarded and ignored her Texan doctor's advice and made the trip to California regardless.

Mother's Day fever this week in the Woman's Weekly, and a timely heads up to remember to buy your own mama a present. Otherwise the florist will sting you for last-minute flowers and all the Marian Keyes books will be gone. See the christening of the newest member of the Royal Family, Prince Edward and Sophie Rhys-Jones' son James, and New Zealand celebs with the babies of their own and the word on how they handle motherhood.

Pink, Jennifer Aniston and Kate Hudson are all looking super-cute in their bikinis, and Penelope Cruz looks hot to trot in hers in the south of France with hubba-hubba boyfriend Javier Bardem. Sigh! Summer seems so long ago.

If you want to see ugly, check out the nasty mess that is Britney Spears' hair extensions in the NW. Or the animal print catsuit Ms Katie Price donned to wander the aisles of an LA drugstore - such the retiring wallflower, that one.

And the Woman's Day has pics of an unsuspecting Natalie Portman getting peed on by a random dog in New York! And she's an animal lover. No gratitude, those mutts.

And that's all from the mags this week!