God forbid this woman feed her kids something that's not organic, gluten-free and processed at the hands of virgins living amongst the peaks of the Himalayas. Angie, the mag says, despite giving a speech last week campaigning for "better educational opportunities for children in Iraq, has been frequently photographed allowing her youngsters to eat junk food."

Everyone knows junk food 24/7 isn't good for anyone, let alone kids. And there's no proof that's what Angie and Brad feed their kids all day every day - just a couple of pictures from them snacking on the street. There's three photos of my man Maddox with a hot dog, candy floss and a big bottle of fizzy orange respectively. In one, he is much younger than the others, so, horror of horrors, Angie let him consume these unmentionables OVER SEVERAL YEARS.

My God.

I call bullpucky. Part of being a child is about eating junk food and not beating yourself up about it for hours afterwards, like most adults end up doing. This woman is a good mother and it's rubbish to make her out to be some kind of monster because there's photos of her children eating M&Ms and a bag of Cheetos.

Cue the nutritionist and the dentist all tut-tutting.

"Angelina's relaxed attitude to junk food is a surprise given that she has the Latin words ‘Quod me nutrit me destruit' tattooed across her stomach. Translated, it means ‘What nourishes me also destroys me," reports the mag. Somehow I don't think the teenage wild child was thinking about dietary issues when she got that ink, do you?

New Zealand's TV's Great Hope, Dominic Bowden, married reporter fiancée Claire Robbie in Auckland just over a week ago and the Woman's Weekly has the low down. Cake! Shoes! Designer gown!

He looked dashing. She walked in to the Elvis classic ‘Can't Help Falling In Love.' The Day say she was taken up the aisle to UB40's song ‘Can't Help Falling In Love.' I think Elvis has dibs on that, guys. Ugh, I hate UB40 almost as much as I hate Boney M, and that's a lot.

Woman's Day obviously tried to get in there and take a couple of snaps, unposed and of that grainy sort of quality. One looks like Claire has rumbled the rogue photographer and is none too pleased. And is it common lingo to refer to Dominic Bowden ‘The Dominator?" Please don't let that catch on!

Even Dom and Claire can't bump old Katie Holmes' marriage meltdown off the starring role on the front cover of the Woman's Weekly. Nitpicking I know, but the WW leads thus: ‘three years into her celebrity marriage to Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes wants out.' Call me picky, but the pair haven't even been married a year and a half. They've been together for three years (god, it seems like a lifetime!) but there is a difference. Just sayin'.

Apparently this year the pair have both taken blows to their ‘Hollywood clout,' of which, let's be honest, Katie really didn't have any before she hooked up with Tom. Nothing gained, nothing lost, Katie - except maybe your dignity.

Um, does anyone believe Victoria Beckham for a minute when she claims she's a ‘complete pig' when it comes to food? Nice try, Pinocchio. Victoria was distraught with the 3kg she put on for the Spice Girls tour which made her figure ‘slightly curvier,' but still claims to have a hearty appetite - a claim questionable to anyone with a pair of eyes.

A complete pig would result in a silhouette be more Beth Ditto than Beckham, surely? Apparently when Lady Posh pigs out she likes "any kind of vegetable" and "fish." Doesn't sound like any pig-out I ever came across.

"Victoria's family are worried about her because she has so much on her plate." Just not her dinner plate.

Jonah takes the new girlfriend that was someone else's wife (is this guy's love life ever simple?) to Paris. The WW compares new love Nadene to his ex, Teina Stace, and there is a striking similarity. With Jonah's track record when it comes to romance, it's doubtful these two will end up as love's young dream.

They flogged everything to do with their wedding, so I'm not surprised to see the honeymoon of Yulia MacLean (nee Townsend) and her manager Glyn after their rather rushed nuptials earlier in the year. Stand by for a baby on the way story to be sold off next!

‘Spats and the City' in the WW has the stars of the series-turned-movie fighting over everything from top billing to who gets to wear which frock to the movie's premiere. Holy Botox! How airbrushed do Carrie and co look?

Oh God, let's not go down this road again. Woman's Day reports that Britney Spears and douchebag babydaddy Kevin Federline may be rekindling their relationship. Word is Brit Brit is working through her issues and realizes ‘a second chance would be everything she could ever ask for and more.' Way to reach for the stars, Britney.

An injured Dan Carter and gorgeous girlfriend Honor Dillon are snapped out and about in Auckland in the Day. She's living at the Howlett's Mt Eden house, and the pair went shopping for furniture - and even managed a public smooch! Ah, bless. He's not at all my cup of tea, but they're a very striking pair.

Apparently Tom Cruise is offering David Beckham beauty tips. Er, pop quiz people - which one of these two is better looking? Maybe Becks should be giving Tom tips on losing the little pair of moobs he's been sporting lately.

"Tom has never had plastic surgery, but he knows what products to use to keep his skin looking young and firm." He's been recommending an avocado face mask to David apparently, which I wouldn't imagine Posh would go for. Imagine if some avocado nutrients should seep through her pores and attach their calorie content to her thighs?

New Idea has ten steps to happiness, Jennifer Aniston-style! It sounds a bit airy fairy to me, but whatever toots your horn. Sophie Monk and Ryan Seacreast? Puh-lease. Anyone else smell the sweet scent of a publicity stunt? Woody Harrelson almost shows the world his woody swimming naked in Miami will pal Owen Wilson in the Day. And Natalie Portman has a hairy new boyfriend.

New Idea shows Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner reuniting at a Hollywood dinner, but what in the name of all that's good and holy is up with Whitney's boobs? It looks like someone shoved a pair of stress balls in her chest.

Two strapping Kiwi teenagers who holidayed in Hollywood snapping pics of the stars had this to say about Paris Hilton. "You can understand why she's so famous. She's so immaculate, she's almost unreal. She has this aura. She's better than your expectations."

That wouldn't be hard, boys.