Jen's busy working down in Miami with Owen Wilson on Marley and Me - but then you knew that, with every mag and its dog determined to make them a couple. She's working out, she's drinking wine, and she's hanging with her girlfriends - a far cry from the supposedly bitter, barren bird that got left in the dust for Angelina ‘Your man is my man' Jolie.

Most interesting is the declaration that, despite assumptions to the contrary, Jennifer was the one who dumped Brad Pitt.

"Once Jen saw the writing on the wall, she dumped Brad," Who quotes the National Enquirer as quoting a friend of Aniston's. "She took a cold, hard look at her marriage and realised it was broken."

Life does seem good for Jen. She graces the front of the Woman's Day wearing nought but a teensy pink bikini and looking exceedingly good in it. ‘Almost 40!' screams the mag, an assertion which might miff Ms Aniston slightly, since she's only just turned 39.

Always known for her obsession with body image and, correspondingly, her famous figure, it looks like Jen channeled the last few years of Brad and Angie gossip into her workout regime with remarkable results. She has an excellent, excellent backside.

And how does she do it? Yoga, running, healthy eating, and drinking water. Boring! It's the post-Easter slump and our body compositions are all 90% chocolate. Give us a quick fix, Jen!

Meanwhile, rumours abound that Les Jolie-Pitts are upping sticks and moving to France. New Idea reports that the couple are moving to the French countryside to set up a permanent base for their ever-expanding brood.

Brad, however, is dragging his heels because learning another language is hard. Brad! It's easy! Even I can still remember my schoolgirl French. Asking people ‘Ou est le piscine?' (where is the pool?) got me far on my French travels. And if you get hungry, just ask for les bonbons.

"He's an American boy through and through," says their ‘source. "He likes fast motorbikes, watching football and drinking beer. He is not going to want his sons growing up ice skating or playing lacrosse, or whatever they do in France."

Sounds like Brad has researched this thoroughly. Next you'll tell me he thinks all French people reek of Gitanes, have a casual attitude to extra-marital affairs and have names like Pepe Le Pew.

Sienna Miller and Rhys Ifans are snapped on holiday in Mexico in the New Idea, amid whispers that they're set to tie the knot. These two holiday a lot. Almost as much as the King and Queen of bunking off, Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo. Is work their break from holidaying?

This theory hasn't proved popular in the past but there's something about Rhys Ifans that I quite fancy. I can't decide if it's the massive lamb chops or the fact that he looks like he smells of cigarettes and mothballs.

Apparently Rhys has asked Sienna to marry him ‘about five times, but Sienna just laughs it off.' Get with the programme, Rhys. I don't know about you guys, but if I proposed to someone and they laughed at me even once, it'd be bye bye birdie. Maybe Rhys needs to read that book He's Just Not That Into You. But changing the ‘He' for a ‘She.'

New Idea also reports that Terri Irwin is fighting back against whispers that she's the Wicked Witch of Wildlife. With Steve Irwin's dad Bob leaving Australia Zoo and rumours Terri was selling up shop and moving back to the US, the Irwins want to make clear that they're Aussies through and through.

Jessica Simpson is apple pie, hot dogs, and the Stars and Stripes rolled into one. The American dream! Blonde, big bosomed, and she loves the army. Who magazine knows Jess is a real trooper for the US of A, declaring ‘she takes her denim cut-offs where they're needed most.' The mag has snaps from Jess' morale-raising trip to visit the armed forces in Kuwait. Probably not all she's raising, running round a camp full of blokes in a pair of short shorts!

Let's not delve into the Heather Mills mess again, although she features in all three Kiwi mags with that nasty Raggedy Andy suit in full effect. For my thoughts on Millsy, click here. She did refer to her ‘success' as ‘the power of one'. Just like the Bryce Courtenay book, right, Heather? You're a modern day hero!

New Idea has the court artist's illustration of Heather dumping a jug of water over Macca's lawyer, Fiona Shackleton, which is worth a look. Paul's face in the sketch is classic. He looks like he just smelt one and is trying to figure out who dropped it.

Who's ‘Life Of Miley' delves into the world of the biggest teen idol on the planet since Britney had babies and went bananas. Miley Cyrus opens up on getting braces, getting grounded, and living on an allowance - after buying a crocodile Prada purse without asking her parents. Go Miley! You little badass.

By the way, does anyone else think Miley's mama Tish could be the new Dina Lohan? She seems to be at more and more events enjoying the camera being shoved in her mug. Or am I too jaded after years of pushy Hollywood mothers? (You can take a bow too, Kathy Hilton).

In amongst all this excitement I forgot to mention that Rachel Hunter's back in town! That's right, ladies and gentlemen, the First Lady of New Zealand Ice Cream is on holiday with her sister Jacqui, who declares she's never been jealous of Our Rach's fame and fortune. Details in the Day.

Nicole Richie's dog didn't seem to take to kindly to being dragged around Beverly Hills boutiques for no personal gain and relieved itself on a designer down. What's an It girl about town to do? If you're Nicole, you beat the feet and high tail it from the scene of the crime.

And that's all from the mags this week!