The patron saint of singledom and the loveless lady of Los Angeles, Jennifer Aniston, takes centre stage in the women's mags this week. Word is that Jen is readying to adopt a baby, and will have a bouncing new addition to her household before the year is out.

After seeing pal Sheryl Crow with her new son Wyatt, Aniston got the ball rolling. But Jennifer's going local, as a source comments "she feels it's selfish to not adopt from her home nation when there are plenty of children in the US who are in need of a good home."

No prizes for guessing who that's aimed at.

Jennifer would be an ace mum. She'd teach you how to stay on a diet for a decade, and mix a mean margarita.

I bet that baby's first words are "Angelina sucks."

Jen has the finances to bring up a child on her own, but even I was gobsmacked when I found out she pulls $20 million pay checks. $20 million! Have you seen Jennifer Aniston movies? I wouldn't give her twenty bucks for those!

In other Aniston news, the tag along friend followed best pal Courteney Cox Arquette, husband David and daughter their Coco to Hawaii for a vacation recently. Judging by the shots in the Woman's day Coco is kicking back and loving her canoe ride, while Courteney looks pissed at having to do all the paddling while David slacks off.

New Idea has them breaking up, which I would totally do if my paddling partner bunked off and made me do all the work.

Hold the phone! Rebecca Loos has got over Matthew Ridge, as shocking as that may seem, and got a new boyfriend. And we use the term loosely. Also using the term loosely is Britney Spears, having been spotted out with magician poser Criss Angel. Apparently he is now her 'boyfriend'. Could he not use his powers for good and vanish some of that tacky man jewellery?

Juicier is the huge $300 million payoff Oprah's reportedly giving long time companion Stedman to keep his trap shut about the talk show queen.

"Stedman's the one person who knows what Oprah is really like and, if he put their intimate moments together on paper, it could ruin her."

Now this is intriguing. Are you telling me Oprah has time for stuff apart from hanging out with Doctor Phil, weighing chicken and shouting 'You go girl"? The plot thickens. Depressingly, no matter how much money she has to pay off Stedman, or anyone, she'll still have significantly more money than all of us.

Hollywood Daddys get a special spread in both the Woman's Day and the New Idea, with some celebrity offspring significantly easier on the eye than others. Concerningly, Ben Affleck wears running shoes with jeans while toting daughter Violet around town. Has he been spending time with Jerry Seinfeld?

The Woman's Weekly has news of pregnant Nicole Richie's engagement, and declares that 'She really wants to get married, spend a few days with her new husband, and then check into jail."

Not the way many people do things, but Nicole's different, no? The wedding's coming up quick smart as Richie doesn't want to be a bride with a 'huge pregnant belly.' The girl weighs 105 pounds. At nine months pregnant she's still going to look like a pipe cleaner carrying a peanut, mark my words.

'Rachel's Triumph!' trumpets the New Idea. Hold your thoughts if you think she's done something monumental, as Our Rach is excited about a family holiday in Fiji. Okay, maybe I'm just jealous. Who wouldn't trade the grey Auckland days donning socks and scarves for a bikini and the Fijian shoreline?

But I digress. Apparently Rachel went through the regular immigration lines, has no entourage and no Louis Vuitton luggage. Okay okay, she's down to earth, we get it, we get it.

Real and totally unsubstantiated gossip comes in the New Idea whispers that Terri Irwin has found love with her husband's best friend on the anniversary of Steve Irwin's death. The scandal! Although all parties say nonsense, we at Gossip Mags like to believe the worst.

I'm bored of the Jolie-Pitts, although not of gorgeous Shiloh. I guarantee the photos of this child running will thaw even the most frozen ovaries. Otherwise it's the regular Ange is thin, blah blah, she and Brad squabble yah di yah, expect more of the same next week.

The only thing of note was this quote from the New Idea. Angelina "shocked members of Brad's family when she said that watching Brad get a tattoo was better than sex."

I hate to say it Angie, but if that's the case maybe you're not doing it right.

And that's all from the mags this week!