Tom of course is no stranger to Australia, having been married to Sydney girl Nicole Kidman for almost a decade. Naturally he would be more familiar with Sydney than Melbourne - which I reckon he should rectify.

Personally I could give or take Sydney, but adore Melbourne.

The superstar pair is in town with three-year-old daughter Suri while Katie films her new film Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, a remake of a 1973 TV movie, with Aussie actor Guy Pearce.

Melbourne may not seem like the obvious choice for a big screen production, although Spike Jonze's Where The Wild Things Are was filmed in Victoria. But there's a method to the Melbournian madness. The film's co-writer and co-producer is Mexican director Guillermo del Toro, who's hard at work in Wellington prepping for the big-screen version of The Hobbit which he's helming.

According to IMDB Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark is about ‘a young girl sent to live with her father and his new girlfriend (who) discovers creatures in her home who want to claim her as one of their own.'

The family has supposedly been staying at billionaire pal James Packer's private penthouse in the city's Crown Casino, which would normally be charged out to punters at a cool $27,000 a night. Packer, whose interest in Scientology was the basis of forging his friendship with Cruise, also gave the couple use of his luxury vessel, the Arctic P, for their 2006 honeymoon.

Like I said, considering Tom Cruise is in the equation the couple have been rather laidback since their arrival in the city.

So much for the theory floated by a couple of women's mags that Holmes was coming on her own to assert her independence from her toothsome hubby.

They've been spotted at the Melbourne Zoo, the Melbourne Aquarium and at the city's famous Myer department store - where Cruise bought Suri a toy kangaroo and several lip glosses.

"They were absolutely charming," a zoo spokeswoman told Australian Woman's Day. "He is very, very nice and his daughter is so cute."

The couple attended the Collingwood v Essendon AFL match at the MCG over the weekend with Packer and Guy Pearce in a private stadium box. Both stars looked thoroughly confused when snapped while watching the on-field action, and I don't blame them. I love most footy, but I've never been able to get my head round Aussie Rules.

Cruise celebrated his 47th birthday at the match on Friday (July 3) and on Sunday the couple were snapped attending a matinee performance of Jersey Boys at the city's Princess Theatre. Despite a balmy temperature of 16 degrees Katie was bundled up in a huge white coat, while budding fashionista Suri wore a red frock and animal print shoes.

The Australian press has been keeping tabs on the pair but there's been no press-related frenzy or tons of photos of the trio, who reportedly have a huge security contingent on staff in Oz.

The US tabloids, however, have been breathlessly reporting on their every move. People.com ran an article yesterday about Katie and Suri ‘using the pool' at their accommodation.

Imagine! They should never drain that water again.

Cruise left town on Tuesday, while filming on Katie's movie begins this coming Monday and is due to run for around seven weeks.

Posh gets called out by King of Tacky

French designer Christian Audigier has decided to get himself some column inches this week by declaring in an interview that he is no fan of Victoria Beckham's clothing line dVb. Posh's frocks, celebrated by most of the fashion world and finding favour with women who can bear the price tag, is apparently too simple.

Anything must be too simple for the flogger of gaudy t-shorts and overpriced caps with liberal usage of skulls, ribbons and roses.

"I like her, she is a nice girl, but she is not completely my style," Audigier, the designer for the Ed Hardy brand, said in the interview. "I have seen some of her designs - they are very simple. It's difficult for an artist or singer to enter into the world of fashion."

It's funny that they shouldn't both get along fabulously. Both strut around Los Angeles with perma-tans and half open shirts.

Fun fact: Christian Audigier dated Anna Nicole Smith back in the late nineties.

For the record, the fans of Audigier's designs (which used to include the Von Dutch label) include renowned fashion plates Peter Andre, Paris Hilton, Kendra Wilkinson, Britney Spears, Jon Gosselin, Tara Reid and Madonna. Recently seen at his fashion shows? Bai Ling and, er, David Hasselhoff.

The ‘high end line' (so says the brand's site, not me) is based on the work of tattooist Don Ed Hardy. In February Hardy filed a lawsuit against Audigier as the contract between them for the designer to use Hardy's name and designs was over - yet Audigier continued to produce Ed Hardy bottled water, air fresheners and perfume as well as clothing.

"Hardy also claims that Audigier has failed to share the profits as contractually agreed upon back in 2005, and even went as far as to underreport the actual earnings from the Ed Hardy line so he wouldn't have to pay full royalties," said the AP in a story filed in February.

No word as yet on any progress in the case.

His clothes are garish and tacky to boot! Give me a Victoria Beckham dress any day.

They're not all airheads!

It may be five months since she took home the Best Actress Oscar for her work in The Reader, but down to earth actress Kate Winslet is still intriguing those in the mainstream media and beyond.

The 33-year-old is the August cover girl for US Harper's Bazaar magazine, and her down to earth, approachable energy continues to win her fans.

On the night she won her Oscar, Kate tells the mag, she was thrilled for her mother to mingle with Elton John and her dad to meet Elvis Costello. But in a constellation of stars gathered to celebrate the cream of the year's acting crop, who was Winslet most excited to come across?

Top Chef judge and New York restaurateur Tom Colicchio. "I'm obsessed with Top Chef," she explained simply to the mag. Join the club, sister!

Winslet set the red carpet alight this awards season in an array of designer gowns, but she's quick to dispel the glamorous myth that comes with the territory with her trademark frankness. "Our knickers will still go up our ass at the most inappropriate moment. And we'll still want to flick them out, but you can't, because someone is going to catch you."

So what, asks the mag, does one do?

"Oh, I run behind pillars and things."

Kate also vows that she's through flashing the flesh on film for now - but perhaps not forever.

"I'm used to people openly discussing my tits. If people are noticing my boobs in a movie and saying they do what real boobs do, then that's great.

"I'll be 34 in October. I can't keep getting away with it. There was so much of it in The Reader because the story required it, but people have seen enough of my bum and my boobs. I have to put them back."

Across the Atlantic, Rachel Weisz is the cover girl of Harper's Bazaar British edition - and the 38-year-old actress is speaking out about Botox in competitive terms.

"It should be banned for actors, as steroids are for sportsmen," the Oscar winning actress tells the mag. "Acting is all about expression; why would you want to iron out a frown?"

Why don't you give Nicole Kidman a buzz, Rachel?

On Lohanwatch

I know if perhaps we ignored her she could very well go away, but for those of you who've been plagued by the question of what Lindsay Lohan's been up to this week - relax! You'll be able to rest easy in your beds tonight.

Naturally, a week in the life of La Lohan is not without drama - in between jaunts to the hairdresser and shopping trips.

There were reports the 23-year-old's LA home had been burgled, prompting a trip to ex Samantha Ronson's home at 3am with the paparazzi in tow. Another night Sam and Lindsay reportedly called a locksmith in the wee small hours when they had locked themselves out of Ronson's pad - giving him $20 of his US$39 fee then shutting the door on him.

Lindsay's response via Twitter surprisingly was free of denial.

"There are more important things going on in this world than a locksmith @ a house. Turn on the world news or Google real world issues. Xoxox"

Word is that the actress was in talks to take Heather Graham's part in the year's big box office success, Todd Phillips' The Hangover, but turned it down as "she didn't like the script."

Meanwhile, Lindsay's latest movie Labour Pains can't even make it straight to DVD, being released to cable TV in the US.

If that wasn't enough, there's talk of the star getting sued by a Florida pharmacist, Jennifer Sunday, who claims Lohan and businesswoman Lorit Simon stole the formula for Lindsay's fake tan brand, Sevin Nyne.

America's St Petersburg Times reported "Sunday is suing Lohan, Simon and Simon's company for breach of contract, theft of trade secrets, civil conspiracy, intentional interference with contractual relations and deceptive and unfair trade practices."

I'm just surprised someone wants to put their hand up and claim responsibility for that muck.

Spotted

Shia LaBeouf jogging shirtless in Los Angeles...Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry dining at Danny DeVito's Miami restaurant DeVito's South Beach...Madonna and Stella McCartney having dinner together at Locanda Locatelli Italian restaurant in London...A very pregnant Nicole Richie and daughter Harlow out with a male friend in West Hollywood...Dwayne Johnson waiting for his car in front of Wolfgang's restaurant in Beverly Hills...Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler filming their new movie The Bounty in Queens, NY...Kate Hudson watching Alex Rodriguez bat for the NY Yankees vs the Toronto Blue Jays at Yankee Stadium...Pierce Brosnan kayaking while on vacation in Hawaii...Jonathan Rhys Meyers on the set of The Tudors in Bray, Co. Wicklow, Ireland...

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