Rachel Hunter gets dumped weeks before her wedding. Farrah Fawcett passes away. Rove (my spellcheck wants to call him 'Rover') got married, shattering my sad gossip dream that he would marry Kylie Minogue and produce a gaggle of tiny, dynamic Aussie entertainers.

And of course at 10am on Friday when I'd made a brew and was settling down to watch a rerun of Frasier and play with my new kitten (squee!) The Husband rang from work to tell me Michael Jackson had died.

Dammit. The big gossip news always happens when I'm on holiday. When Britney dumped K-Fed I was in Aussie for the Melbourne Cup and could only play onlooker to the smutty goings on.

But although some of the gossip is sad, it's big! Huge. And not a Jolie or a Pitt or a Jolie-Pitt in sight. For that this week we could be a teeny bit grateful.

Jacko inconveniently (for the women's mags deadlines) died on a Friday, which causes problems when the rags arrive in shops on a Sunday. New Idea bit the bullet and bumped Rachel Hunter's romantic woes to the inside, hastily producing a wraparound cover in tribute to the late King of Pop. She also got bumped from the Weekly for him.

Poor Rachel! Getting dumped wasn't enough?

What killed Michael? I mean I know it was a cardiac arrest, but in a 50-year-old man? Was it the pills? The painkillers? The stress of 50 London shows looming over him? I've heard he had a degenerative lung disease, that he had skin cancer, that he wasn't eating. There's a theory for every occasion.

New Idea's cover, runs the headline ‘Peace At Last,' and the mag details the legacy of Michael Jackson's amazing but tragic life. They are running the sad picture of what seems to be an already deceased Jacko being wheeled out of his house on a gurney last Friday. It's kind of ghoulish.

I feel bad. Suspect I may have grown some form of conscience in two weeks off? Best shake that!

The Day gets a wee bit of Michael on the outside, and has got a two-page spread just inside the cover. Snaps of the family arriving at hospital, a timeline of his legendary life, the details of what happened that day. Not much different to if you've been reading the papers or watching the news over the weekend, but worth a read if you're craving more info I guess.

I'm gonna nail my flag to the mast and say I don't think he molested those boys. I understand how people could, and there was plenty of debate about it at the pub on Friday night, but I think he lived such a screwed up life that in his mind he actually believed he was still a child, and lived like one. That is all.

RIP Michael. Maybe for once you'll finally get some peace.

You know me when it comes to taking the mick out of celebs, but for some reason I really love Ali Mau. Is it her daily proximity to Paul Henry? Or the fact that she MC'd a charity event I went to once and was a tall blonde streak of gorgeousness? Or a combination of the two? I can't quite tell.

The TV star split with husband Simon Dallow last week, making headlines and propelling her to the cover of two of the three local rags.

On Monday morning Ali also had the unfortunate task of partaking in TVNZ's weekly gossip mags review on Breakfast - with herself on said covers. The chances of that ever happening to me are zero, and for that I am utterly and completely grateful. How weird that must have been, but she tackled with great aplomb.

See the clip here

For the record, Ali says in the clip not to believe either story, that she never said ‘I'm not in love with Simon any more' (the Weekly's tag), and hoped viewers would take the stories with ‘a grain of salt.'

She also said the three rather grainy photos of the couple having lunch in Herne Bay last week cost the Day an estimated six grand to get. And that the cover pics both mags used were quite a few years old.

But onwards!

The Day runs with ‘Ali and Simon's Shock Split: There's No Going Back'. The couple went for coffee at Dida's and the mag's snapper followed. Apparently their ‘awkward air kiss and strained body language' said it all. Also, it looks like Ali had a latte.

A latte! That must mean something in gossip speak. Latte drinkers, enlighten me please.

‘These, tellingly, are the first photos of them together in more than six months," says the mag. Possibly they could have got more if photographers had been following them around while they were together like they did last week?

TVNZ broke the news with a statement that had the couple's OK. How showbiz!

‘While Ali is liked and respected, Simon has garnered a reputation for being increasingly difficult,' the mag reports on the couple's working life. Oooh, burn.

New Idea calls the pair ‘New Zealand's Ken and Barbie' while running the headline ‘Ali's Courage: I'm Not In Love With Simon Any More' and mentions the couple's ‘shared fieriness' and a ‘volatile spark.' Don't know if Simon will be thrilled with the comparison to Ken, having genitalia and all.

"She has thought about this for at least a year. They both have - but have been too scared to voice it. This is a huge weight off their shoulders. There's no fear anymore. Ali no longer has to pretend in public that everything's good at home."

Our Rachel has become single in the most ungallant of fashions, dumped seven weeks before her wedding to NHL fiancé Jarrett Stoll. The lovely Amy Williams blogged about it last week, read her column here.

The Day reports the hockey player has ‘thrown their love away in favour of his career.'

"She left Rod for her career and now the boot's on the other foot. It's exactly in reverse. He wants a career and think that getting into a family situation may not be the best career move for him."

Er, because people don't want to watch a hockey player who has a wife? I can really see how that would affect your play. Douche.

Was it the age gap? I mean there is Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes (16 years) and Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore (15 years) who are living life with a rather large age gap - but put your hands up if you really think either of those couples are going to like the distance. I don't. The one that does seem to be working is Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones (a whopping 25 years between them) , but that woman know what side her bread is buttered on, no?

I can't see myself going out with a 17-year-old. Or, for that matter, think of a 17-year-old that'd look twice at me.

Sadness for Rachel! And she wanted to have another baby! Sniff.

"The reality is you just have to work through it, and it takes time. But she'll do it because Rachel's no quitter," a pal tells the Day.

Chin up Rachel! I'm sure the old better now than after you're married holds no consolation for her, but let's roll it out anyway.

Who'd be a good new boyfriend for our Rach? And don't say Simon Dallow.

Due to the smorgasbord of gossip this week Angie and Brad bumped to page 18 of one of the mags! Angie sends text messages to Jen telling her to ‘back off.' World yawns.

The Weekly has a Jennifer Aniston-Bradley Cooper romance on the boil. Suspect a fauxmance.

New Idea says they've been dating for three months. He, for the record, has denied it. The mag goes so far as to say the pair order takeaways under their characters' names from He's Just Not That Into You. Weird.

Cooper is in the hit movie of the year so far, The Hangover. (Have you seen? You should. Brilliant!) He also has two dogs, speaks fluent French and is teetotal, which may prove unfortunate for the Aniston as the NW's running a story about her being a big boozer, reportedly sinking plenty o' white wine to deal with the state of her love life.

Also rather pleasantly absent from the headlines this week is the Tom and Katie show, although they do feature in bits and pieces later in the mags. Expect to see plenty of stuff on Katie as she heads to Melbourne to shot a new horror flick with Guillermo del Toro. New Idea says she's pregnant, but isn't she always in Magland?

Jordan's angry that Peter Andre looks like a good father while she looks like a drunkard with loose morals in the Day. If the skimpy leotard fits....

She's had an ‘X' over her ‘Pete' tattoo and has been slouching round Ibiza in a slew of outfits which threaten to liberate her lady bits and pieces.

"Pete has destroyed me by acting like the perfect dad," she's reportedly moaning. "He wants to look like Superdad. Pete's career isn't singing - it's me. No-one will be interested in him without me."

Sarah Jessica Parker's babies were also born while I was on hols, and Marion Loretta Elwell Broderick and Tabitha Hodge Broderick get a little mention in the Weekly. Very sensible names. Looking forward to some pics! I bet they have some great outfits.

The New Idea mentions "Jennifer Love Hewitt has announced plans to pen a romance self-help book full of tips and advice on relationships." She who broke up with a fiance one week and picked up a D-list comedian the next? Excuse me if I don't knock you over on my way to Borders.

Sharon Stone will not be pleased I saw a shot of her in the back of the New Idea and though it was Ellen Degeneres. I love me some Ellen but still, I don't think Sharon would appreciate the comparison.

Oooh, and head to the back of the New Idea you haven't seen publicity pics of Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter and Anne Hathaway as the White Queen in Tim Burton's new Alice in Wonderland movie. Amazing! LOVE it when these two work together.

See Lady Gaga with fireworks coming out of her metal plated bosoms at the MuchMusic Awards in Canada. Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty snapped canoodling in Italy (yes, again). Swoon over pics of Josh Hollway's beautiful baby Java, out with her daddy in Hawaii (Day). Tom Cruise is snapped with sweaty pits (one of my biggest fears) at Cameron Diaz's Hollywood Walk of Fame ceremony. And George Clooney has been talking to his late pig Max, who died in 2006, through a piggy psychic.

And that's all from the mags this week!

In completely unrelated news, I'm using the blog to post a photo of my 30th birthday present and new baby, Chico Higgins! Am a very proud mama. He's nine weeks old and loves jumping on laptop keys, playing in the wine rack, and eating like a little hog. A perfect kitty match for me really!

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