But the countdown is most certainly the one hundred women picked by a few thousand men who like looking at tits and ass in photospreads.

Not that I've got anything against these kind of mags. Just saying it's not the definitve.

Anyway, Maxim's list of comely lasses did throw up the odd surprise.

The winner? House actress Olivia Wilde beat out last year's winner, Megan Fox, to the top spot.

Uncanny that they're the gold-silver combination, as Megan Fox recently revealed in an interview that she considered Wilde "so sexy she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands."

Better use that sexy only for good then, Olivia.

"We may not know a McDreamy from a McNugget, but when it comes to TV doctors, there is only one who makes our body temperature rise" swooned the mag.

Olivia Jane Cockburn (she took her stage name from Oscar Wilde, a fine namesake!) plays Thirteen on House, has also appeared in The O.C. and the movie Turistas and has been married since the age of 19. She's now 25.

Would you say that surname ‘Cock-burn' or ‘Coh-burn'? I come across this dilemma often. The street our street comes off in the Grey Lynn is Cockburn Street. We always say it Cock-burn, but the people who live on it seem to call it ‘Co-burn.' They say it's the correct pronunciation. I suspect they just don't want to have an address with the word ‘cock' in it.

But I digress.

The American top 10 was thus: Wilde, Fox, Bar Rafaeli, Malin Ackerman, Mila Kunis, Eliza Dushku, Adriana Lima (‘So perfect, said the mag, ‘that her government uses her picture to make Brazilians not mind about all that City of God stuff), Rihanna, Jordana Brewster and Jennifer Love Hewitt.

It did have its surprises. Michelle Obama can now claim to be the first First Lady to ever grace the list, coming in at 93. I can't imagine Laura Bush or Hillary Clinton troubling it in years past, can you?

Despite looking like a fiery-headed pipe cleaner that's seen better days Lindsay Lohan made a respectable showing, coming in at 23. She even beat Angelina Jolie, who landed at 26. Britney Spears resurgence of hot saw her come in at 17, although pipped to the pop star post by Katy Perry at 15. And in the battle of the Jessicas, Biel (11) beat Alba (13).

Megan Fox also came runner-up on the British list from lads' mag FHM, with the top position graced by footballer's wife Cheryl Cole. They like a bit more Alba (number three) and Spears (number four) than their US counterparts, but Brazilian supermodel Adriana Lima made another strong showing, coming in at six. Her higher-profile Brazilian counterpart, Gisele Bundchen, graced neither list.

The British list, released last month, made minor ripples in the entertainment press for the rapid decline of girl-about-town actress Sienna Miller. Miller, who placed at 45 in 2007 and 70 last year, failed to trouble the scorers in 2009. She got so few votes she came in below a certain Elizabeth Regina. Yes, the Queen.

Blondes with balls

No no, I'm not besmirching Shanna Moakler's femininity. I'm just quite impressed with the stance she took earlier this week resigning her post as co-director of the Miss California USA pageant.

Moakler, a former Miss USA, had stood by at a press conference earlier in the week as Donald Trump declared that the controversial current Miss California, Carrie Prejean, had done nothing wrong with airing her anti-gay marriage stance publicly and with the subsequent emergence of topless photos of the model.

This despite a clause in the pageant's contract stating the prospective candidates should not have been photographed ‘nude or partially nude.'

Donald Trump, not opposed to nubile young blondes, dismissed topless photos of Carrie with the statement: "We are in the 21st century. We have determined the pictures taken are fine" and that "in some cases the pictures were lovely."

Does that make you feel a bit dirty? It makes me feel a bit dirty.

Prejean - in possibly the worst excuse since Ashlee's Simpson's ‘acid reflux' for miming on Saturday Night Live and Paris Hilton's publicist's ‘maybe it was icing sugar' when his client was snapped with white powder up her nose - said photos of her posing topless were accidental and that the wind blew her vest open.

Funny, the photographer didn't remember it that way.

Dominic Petruzzi told TMZ Carrie showed her bosoms ‘spontaneously' and that the beauty queen was ‘totally posing,' even to the extent that she reviewed the shots and said how much she liked them.

Anyway, after standing up at the press conference grinning for all she was worth, Shanna - famous for brawling with Paris Hilton, being married and divorced and back together again with that guy from Blink-182, threw in the towel in protest.

"Since the press conference yesterday, I had a chance to think about what has taken place, and I feel that at this time it is in my best interest to resign from the Miss California USA organization.

I cannot with a clear conscience move forward supporting and promoting the Miss Universe Organisation when I no longer believe in it, or the contracts I signed committing myself as a youth. I want to be a role model for young women with high hopes of pageantry, but now feel it more important to be a role model for my children. I am sorry and hope I have not let any young supporters down but wish them the best of luck in fulfilling their dreams."

A Jennifer face-off

It could be a battle of the Jennifers at the box office next year. Jennifer Lopez and Jennifer Aniston are both currently filming comedies dealing with the subject of 40-something women and artificial insemination.

In The Back-Up Plan, which has just gone into production, Lopez plays a Zoe, a woman who decides she's sick of the search for Mr Right. So she gets pregnant via artificial insemination - then meets a guy that could be the man of her dreams.

In the Aniston corner? The Baster, co-starring Jason Bateman, has been filming in New York City for several weeks. Ugh. Have I mentioned how much I hate that title? I'm sure I have.

Anyway, in The Baster (shudder!) Aniston plays an unmarried 40-year-old who gets pregnant via the faithful turkey baster. Years later she meets up with her best friend who's been living with a secret: he replaced the sperm sample she had with his own.

Cue hilarity!

These Jennifers do have a few things in common - both will be 40 this year (Aniston turned in February, Lopez in July). Both grew up in New York, and have had high-profile relationships with celebrity men. Although Jennifer Lynn Lopez-Noa-Judd-Anthony has had far more husbands than Jennifer Joanna Aniston-Pitt, and should really hand over an ex to balance things out a bit.

Who would you back in a fight if things between these mummy movies get ugly when they're due to be released in 2010? I say Lopez. She's high maintenance, sure, but those nails look like they could scratch.

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Spotted

Jennifer Connelly out and about in her Brooklyn Heights neighbourhood of NYC...Natalie Portman on the set of her new movie in Los Angeles...Amy Winehouse sucking her thumb in St Lucia...Meg Ryan grabbing a coffee to go in the Brentwood neighbourhood of LA...Beyonce at the beach in Monaco...Hugh Jackman, wife Deborra-Lee and kids Oscar and Ava out for breakfast in New York...Penelope Cruz's lookalike sister, Monica, on a photo shoot in Berlin...Pamela Anderson at a club appearance in Frankfurt, Germany...Paul Rudd on a bike ride through New York's West Village...Monica Bellucci arriving at Nice airport for the Cannes Film Festival...