I was but a child when New Zealand's boxing beacon of hope, David Tua, appeared on Celebrity Wheel Of Fortune with a large-haired Lana Coc-Kroft and asked to play the letter O, for 'awesome'. Or 'orsome,' as it must have appeared to our Dave. How about H for hilarious, and H for historical? The O for awesome gaffe is a classic moment in New Zealand history, still being talked about years after the fact.

Last week model Nicky Watson appeared in a segment of Close Up tearfully searching the Coromandel town of Matarangi for her beloved nine year old Chihuahua, Cricket. Reporter Michael Holland joined her as she combed sand and street for her beloved dog. Over a soundtrack of Cat Stevens' 'I Love My Dog,' Nicky begged for the return of her "intelligent, soulful little boy," leading to the following exchange in between calls of 'Criiiiiiiiicket!'

Nicky: "I must have called out cricket's name a million times but I know if he hears my voice then he'll come."

Reporter: "You're hoarse."

Nicky: "No, my dog."

In honour of Cricket, whose little body was sadly found washed up on the beach earlier this week, I present you with some of the dumbest celebrity quotes EVER.

Brooke Shields, aged 15. "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost an important part of your life."

Geography doesn't sound like it's ever been Britney Spears' strong point. "I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada."

"I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa."

"So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?" Christina Aguilera also needs to brush up on the map work.

"I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to." Shaquille O'Neal after being asked whether he visited the Parthenon during his trip to Greece.

"I've got taste. It's inbred in me." David Hasselhoff feels the family love.

"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness." - Alicia Silverstone needs to chill out.

The Nelson Mandela award for racial harmony goes to Naomi Campbell. "I look at [modelling] as something I'm doing for black people in general."

"What's a soup kitchen?" Paris Hilton still tries to convince people her stupidity is an act.

"I'd rather be dead than singing ‘Satisfaction' when I'm forty-five." Mick Jagger needs to eat his words.

I don't suspect professional party girl Tara Reid was talking about geology. "I'm sounding worse than Jessica Simpson right now. She's looking like a rock scientist."

"I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman." Californians must be reassured that Arnold Schwarzenegger is running their state.

And, god love 'em, those in the sporting arena are just as likely to let a clanger or two slip through.

"We are going to turn this team around 360 degrees." - NBA player Jason Kidd.

"He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too." - boxing promoter Don King.

"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." - former NFL player Joe Theismann.

Let's not forget New Zealand's king of the double entendre, rugby commentator Murray Mexted.

"I can tell you it's a magnificent sensation when the gap opens up like that and you just burst right through."

"Darryl Gibson has been quite magnificent coming inside Andrew Mehrtens, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of the same today."

"There's nothing that a tight forward likes more than a loosie right up his backside"

And last but not least, the world's biggest fool. "You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror." - George W. Bush

Got any celebrity clangers that I've missed? Post them below!