Charge your glasses in salute! Prince Harry and Chelsy 'Bottoms Up' Davy have called it quits after a tumultuous five-year romance, and the end of the affair is covered in all the mags. Chelsy dumped the prince after he made it clear his military career had to come before the blonde party girl for the next couple of years.

Word is the Zimbabwean born-Chelsy misses Africa, and doesn't want to spend her life in England pining after a boyfriend she'd hardly ever see. Sounds like quite the opposite of ‘Waity' Kate Middleton.

The New Idea reports Chelsy may have had an ulterior motive for dumping the prince - a South African hunk called ‘Jabu.'

Jabu, aka Bradley Kirkland, is no Jabba the Hut when it comes to matters of physique. The ripped-up aspiring crocodile hunter is also a uni student, and check the New Idea for a snap of him, sans shirt, and with a dead croc draped across his shoulders. I suppose that's a turn on to some people?

The mag reports that Chelsy and Jabu shared a sly pash while Harry toiled away on the front line in Afghanistan.

A friend explains the allure of the royal ex-girlfriend.

"Chelsy had probably never made a cup of tea or a bed in her life before going to Britain. But she can ride a horse bareback, skipper a speedboat across Kenya's Lake Navaisha and all the time match the boys drink for drink."

Sounds like my kind of girl! Apart from the horse thing, that is. Horrid beasts!

The Weekly reports that Jennifer Aniston is tackling her approaching 40th birthday head-on telling pals "she's really only 30." Yeah, sounds like she's approaching 40 with a healthy dose of denial! Her theory? "Women are as young as they feel." That seems to be a common one spouted by those approaching middle age.

"Nevertheless, facts are facts, and Jennifer turns 40 on February 11," the mag snipes. Oh do I detect a bitchy tone there? I quite like it.

Jen's 40th birthday is also the date the NW has long touted as the time John Mayer will pop the question to our girl, so let's keep an ear out and see if they were right.

One ‘friend' the mag consulted sounds like they may need some time to cool off after swooning over Jennifer's 40-year-old figure.

"Her butt is perfectly shaped, her stomach is flat and smooth, her legs and hips are shapely and her breasts are just perfect. There's no fat and none of those horrible Madonna-like, weight-lifting muscles either. So she just looks young and womanly and ever so sexy."

Phew! Go take a cold shower there, fella. Jen will pay you later.

New Idea leads this week with another Katie-Tom ‘trouble in Xenu paradise' story. She wants to set up home in New York, Tom prefers LA, yaddayadda.

NW reports that the death of Jett Travolta has given Katie the willies with regards to the effect living with the religion will have on their daughter, Suri. The pair reportedly squabbled on the Berlin red carpet of Tom's latest flick, Valkyrie, and all the gushy declarations and cheesy grins were definitely off.

"The tension between Tom and Katie was so apparent that even Tom's mega-watt smile and all of Katie's acting skills couldn't hide it," says the mag.

And Tom's solution to his wife's worries? To send her to Scientology counselling. Hmmm, I'm not the only one who senses a bad end for these two, but how long do you give them? Will Katie manage to stick it out for the decade that Nicole Kidman did? That's eight more very long years as Mrs Cruise.

Of course, after several articles mentioning the absence of the Jolie-Pitt twins, Vivienne and Knox, in the public eye, all of the mags are aflutter with the pics of the entire family walking through Narita airport in Tokyo last week. You won't be able to miss them on the newsstand.

While the Day runs plenty of the airport pics, their angle on the Jolie-Pitts this week is the suggestion that Brad has a problem with the booze.

"Brad loves to drink," says an insider. "He looks forward to his Heineken."

Their evidence? Brad left a recent movie screening with a beer in hand. He split a bottle of wine with Angie one night at dinner. And he met up with friends one day and quipped "I need a stiff drink." Quelle horreur!

"He used to have two or three beers because Angie wouldn't let him get drunk," the mag reports. "But now, he'll have a six-pack at one sitting, easily. No food. Just beer."

The man is 45 years old, and has six kids under the age of seven. If he wants a drink, he can have one, puritans! And six beers in one sitting? If they think that's a heavy drinking session things don't bode well for almost everyone I know. Six? Pish!

God knows how, but Kevin Federline has a new girlfriend. A leggy blonde volleyball player by the name of Victoria Prince. Word is Britney's not happy that he's moved on.

"When she saw pictures of Victoria holding her kids, she exploded in a jealous, tearful rage."

She'll learn, Brit Brit. She'll learn.

NW has details of Britney's marathon exercise routine to shape up for the March kick-off of her Circus tour. Which entails daily six-hour workouts and not very much food. The mag claims the micro-managed star is on hunger strike to rebel against the control over her. Chin up, Britney! I'll eat on your behalf. Do you fancy chicken for tea?

Shockingly skinny Lindsay Lohan is weighing in at about 44kg, say sources who saw the twig-legged, legging clad Lohan shopping out in New York last week. See pics of her jutting out spine in the NW.

"She knows she's thin, but she actually loves her new shape. She loves being skinny."

Kate Hawkesby and Mike Hosking are snapped in the Day disembarking a Waiheke Island ferry on their way to a wedding. The ultra-private couple, who won't confirm they are together, have had a summer of holidays and fun with their five children. That's almost a brood of Brad and Angie proportions! She's in a short black dress with a va va voom neckline.

"Mike and Kate were dressed immaculately," the Day's source swoons. "Even among a ferry load of people dressed to the nines, they stood out."

Whiskery Joaquin Phoenix has definitely done an about turn on his dashing movie star days. Gladiator be gone! These days the actor is a beardy ratty-arsed mess with dreams of becoming the next big white rapper. I've watched the clips, and I don't think Eminem should be losing any sleep.

Phoenix wore a moth-eaten beanie and cords with a hole right in the crotch. NW has a close up, and I'm just hoping the glimpse of skin I can see isn't one of his nuts. Please God, don't let it be one of his nuts.

He gave a special performance in Las Vegas recently, which didn't go down too well. The whole palaver was filmed by brother-in-law Casey Affleck for a documentary. Casey! Friends don't let friends turn into bad rappers.

She's never been lucky in love, but Single Spice Geri Halliwell is engaged! Italian millionaire Fabrizio Politi gave the redhead a honking great sparkler worth $590k, after they met at a club in Florence in December, reports the New Idea.

He designs yachts with crocodile skin interiors (Mmm, classy). She wants a sibling for toddler Bluebell Madonna, and is delighted with how well her new fella gets on with her daughter. Since Christmas, they've been on three holidays! What a hard life.

On the topic of Spice kids, see gorgeous pics in the Day of Mel B's daughter Angel Iris, two, whose deadbeat daddy is Eddie Murphy. Cute as a button!

Two mags are calling that Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher - who last week turned to Twitter to let off steam about the noise from his neighbour's construction site - are set to adopt a baby. Interestingly, it was Barack Obama's election which sealed the adoption deal for the pair, in the new President's ‘era of hope and change'.

Hmmm, Ashlee Simpson used Obama last week as a reason why people should stop bitching about sister Jessica's weight. I could run with this. After the election of President Obama, we're all in an era of hope and change. I'm going to hope for some new shoes.

Things have apparently cooled between the exuberant pairing of actresses Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore. The twosome used to share sleepovers, work projects and Hawaiian holidays together, but former best buds are said to have completely ignored each other at the recent Golden Globes. Word is Cameron's committed a violation of girl code, ditching her bestie to focus her attentions of her man, Essex model Paul Sculfor.

Lady GaGa dishes in the NW on her eclectic fashion choices. "I know now matter how I feel, my fans deserve the panties," says the lycra lover. She's also keen on the old legs akimbo, so you'll be reassured that she's got a very efficient waxer. Or maybe not so much when I tell you I saw pictures last week of GaGa's tampon string hanging out of her leotard. She has won one fan in the form of New Kid on the Block Donnie Wahlberg. GaGa supported the Old New Kids on their recent reunion tour. Says Donnie, "I didn't have sex with her but I wouldn't say no."

"You've got to keep the fights clean and the sex dirty."

- Kevin Bacon's recipe for long-term marital success.

And that's all from the mags this week!