Woman's Day leads this week with tales of Katie's extreme Scientology diet. Word is Katie's shed 10 kilos she really didn't need to lose from her 175cm frame, weighing her in at a teeny tiny 52kg. She does look rather gaunt in the pics, sharp of cheekbone and bulgy of eyeball.

Apparently at a recent performance of her Broadway play All My Sons "there was an ‘audible gasp' when rail-thin Katie stepped onto the stage."

"When Katie embarked on a new diet," the mag reports, "Tom was insistent that it stick to the codes of Scientology." Those Scientologists have a right way to do everything. Is there a correct Scientology way to take a dump too?

So Katie's on a restrictive regime which involves "long periods of fasting on nothing more than water and juice, and heavy doses of niacin, colonics, and long heated saunas to purify the body."

But the diet hasn't done wonders for Katie's appearance, with her strict eating plan and heavy work schedule prompting renewed outbursts of ‘breakouts, cold sores and blisters.'

She celebrated her 30th birthday in December with a bang, out to dinner with nothing but a dressing-free salad. Lettuce leaves! Sadness.

NW has gone for some of the same, documenting Katie Holmes' ‘Tragic Decline' on their cover. ‘How life with Tom has ruined her looks...' screams the mag. Not mention her career and her dignity. They must be serious, there's four pages worth.

Granted, they do compare a photo of the newly turned 30-year-old to one from when she was about 19, but it does not a pretty picture make. Has Tommy Girl sucked the life out of his wife? For the last couple of weeks she's been walking round New York City like a zombie.

The mag argues that it's a bizarre request by Katie's husband to not garner so much media attention that has led to her run down appearance, cold sores and undereye bags, and drab, baggy outfits. Rumour has it he was also the one behind Katie's boyish hair cut, convincing his wife to go short despite her misgivings. Who does that? Big toothed freak!

"Tom loves seeing Katie look a million dollars but only when she's on his arm....he doesn't like playing second fiddle, not even to his wife."

I'd believe it too, you tiny egomaniac.

But Katie still has some semblance of a backbone, and reportedly got so enraged with her husband after her had her tailed that she threw a statue at the wall in his Los Angeles office, making a nice sized hole in the plaster.

Take a glimpse into Tom Cruise's personal photo collection in the WHO. He, his mum and three sisters all have the same teeth! Uncanny. There's also a photo of him dressed up as Santa for Suri in "a Santa suit that Holmes designed." Er, I think someone already called shotgun on credit for the red suit with white trim and a beard, Katie.

Of course there's coverage of the tragic death of Jett Travolta, on the cover of the New Idea and a double page article in the Day, the Weekly and the WHO. There's probably not much that you haven't read over the past week or so...and the persistent rumour that Jett was autistic, a condition Scientology reportedly fails to recognise, won't go away.

Interestingly, Jett's nanny Jeff Kathrein has no formal nanny or nursing training, and is a wedding photographer by trade. More interestingly, Jeff is the man snapped in a lip-to-lip smooch with John Travolta on the steps of John's private plane a couple of years ago.

But the whole thing is so sad, and I can't really find anything that I can poke fun at in the whole situation, so onwards we go!

Double sadness with an interview with the sister of Sonny Fai, the strapping young Warrior swept away in the rugged surf of Bethells Beach last weekend. Sniff!

Paul Henry's mildly irritating former Breakfast sidekick Kay Gregory rears her head once more as the celebrant at the wedding of former TrueBliss singer Erika Takacs. Erika looks gorgeous, and I love both her wedding ring and her full-length lace veil, although I didn't go for a floor-sweeper myself. Suits you, Erika!

Erika went all out for her big day, convincing new husband Allan to get her double the wedding rings. "Just the one didn't look right next to my engagement ring, so he had to get me two!" laughs Erika.

Good girl, yourself!

Their daughters, as ‘best girls,' has dresses designed for them by the delightfully named Carlisle Twydle.

Beyonce's snapped jetskiing in the Day in an olde worlde frock. Is this a new form of sunscreen? Lady B apparently "recently donated her entire $6.8 million salary from her new film Cadallic Records to help a chain of US drug treatment centres." Very gracious, no? But chump change when you can afford to charter a holiday yacht that costs a mere $485,000 a week.

Sigh! I've got to get me a pay rise.

Do you believe the horrid rumour that George Clooney is seeing Paris Hilton? I don't, but George has always had a soft spot for girls with a touch of the skank about them. Meanwhile Lily Allen and her latest lover, her dad's art dealer mate Jay Jopling, are over already! Charlize Theron and her fella are apparently on rocky ground after a tension filled New Year's getaway, while everyone's favourite Aussie Kylie Minogue, has reportedly found love with a hunky Spanish model ten years her junior! Go Kylie! You deserve it.

NW reports Britney Spears is on the look-out for some lovin'. Hemmed in and virtually living the life of a nun thanks to Dad Jamie's repressive regime, Britney's "taken to going out incognito for random romps with sexy strangers."

A couple of crushes have cut her down, so Brit Brit's taken to hooking up with strangers instead.

Even Kevin's got a new girlfriend! And that's not all he's acquired, with a couple of the mags pointing out Federline's rather rapid weight gain with helpful nicknames like ‘Kevin Fed-Excess', and ‘K-well-Fed.'

Is Brad Pitt having a mid-life crisis? NW says yes, reporting that Brad frets ‘his career will fade as his youth does.' Chill out, Bradley. It's okay for guys to get old in Hollywood. Richard Gere, Harrison Ford, George Clooney ring any bells? Sure, he looks older. But he's getting older. Everyone is!

Brad has been fighting old Father Time by indulging in decidedly un-macho pursuits. "He's obsessed with his skin looking flawless and pays extra for detoxifying elixir peels and anti-ageing organic serum cleanses," sayeth the mag.

For the family that has everything, spare a thought for little Maddox Jolie-Pitt who sadly didn't get what he wanted this Christmas - a puppy. Turns out a pooch just doesn't gel with Angie and Brad's jet-set lifestyle. "Maddox was crushed because he asked for that puppy almost every day for the past few months."

Jessica Simpson's had a bright idea - a baby with her boyfriend Tony Romo. What a great way to keep a bored man interested! A sure fire romantic success. There's a solid format for romantic advice to the lovelorn: just do the opposite of everything Jessica Simpson does.

"Jessica's up in arms that her baby sister beat her to a good marriage and a baby," a pal says. Chill out, Jess! They only got married in May. And it is Hollywood. There's plenty of time for that union to go belly up.

The Weekly leads with Ms Flat-Screen-TV-Face herself, Nicole Kidman, and her plans to try for a sibling for six-month-old daughter Sunday Rose. She and He Of The Thin Lips have agreed, according to the mag, to try and have another baby by the end of the year. Well, there's no time like the present. Especially when you're 42.

She dismisses a bulge she sported at the Aussie premiere of Australia which got tongues wagging as ‘an inherited trait.' Apparently ‘little tummies' run in her family.

Taking some time away from the silver screen also doesn't worry the Aussie actress, says the Weekly, as "she's lost the passion for movie-making at the moment." Understood, Nic. I've read the reviews of Australia.

Does anyone else find it weird that an extremely wealthy successful woman who's spoken openly for years about her yearning for a biological child has done almost nothing but work since the baby's birth six months ago? I'm not having a go. Okay, I am, but only because I don't get it. Surely if anyone can afford to take some maternity leave, it's a movie star that gets paid $20m a flick?

They have a special paying tribute to sisters in the Weekly this week, with Trelise Cooper., Sonia Gray, Robyn Malcolm, the Topp twins and Maria Tutaia about life with their siblings.

Which gives me a chance to shout out to my sister, Rosie, who's gallivanting through the European winter with her fella in tow. I think she's in Switzerland at the moment. Eat enough fondue for us both, missus! You know I don't trust people who don't like cheese.

The Kate Moss pregnancy rumours just won't go away, despite the fact that the supermodel was chuffing away on fags during her Thai New Year's break with boyfriend Jamie Hince and daughter Lila. Hey, it's Kate! She must have been born with a Marlboro Light in hand. Skinny minnie supermodels just don't get belly bumps like the rest of us mere mortals. Miss Moss has fuelled the talk further by giving Lila's nanny a huge bonus, ‘telling her she'll have twice as much work to do this year.'

Maybe Lila's planning on being twice as naughty? Or Pete Doherty's moving back in?

WHO mag goes with what all over us who are bloated and overstuffed after New Year don't really want to see just after - smug celebs and their hot bods giving us diet and exercise tips. But I'll read them anyway, and I know you probably will too! They impart wisdom like "I just kind of eat healthy" (Ashley Tisdale) and "I get my sugar rush by sucking a lollipop" (Emma Bunton).

I really don't think switching to gluten-free bread is gonna give me a body like Miranda Kerrs, somehow.

And that's all from the mags this week!