Americans seem to have this weird thing for Australia that us Kiwis just don't have. I think it's because we're so close to the place that it's more the neighbour across the ditch than the magical faraway land of kookaburras, cockatoos, Crocodile Dundee and places with humorous sounding names.

In this respect Oprah is no different to others in the US of A. She recently filmed a TV special on Baz Luhrman's new movie Australia with its stars, true blue Ockers Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman (Huge. Ackman. Sorry, I can never not think of that.)

Before Nicole arrives on set, made up to be the front porch of an outback station, Oprah literally works herself up into such a frenzy about the flick that I'm surprised she didn't blow a gasket.

The audience had seen it too.

"WAS THAT A MOVIE?" the mighty Opes hollered at them a few times, before proclaiming that the flick literally swept her off her feet. "Didn't you laugh?" she asked the audience. "I know you cried!"

I mean, I want to seeAustralia too, but it comes out on Boxing Day and you can bet your Christmas presents that I'll be at the Ellerslie races with a ham sandwich and far too much Lindaeur (maybe Deutz, if I'm lucky) and not holed up in a pokey cinema.

Anyways. Hugh Jackman appears showing viewers around his hometown of Sydney, while Nicole's actually on stage. Her lips are very red, and very much larger than they used to be. Her skin is flawless, and I can't help but think about Sharon Osbourne's comment that her forehead looks like "a f**king flat screen TV." Hee. At one stage she raises an eyebrow and I think the effort almost made her pass out.

It could be because she's an actress with a fine flair for the dramatic, but every answer seems very overstated. And her whole family life seems so faux perfect. Like too perfect. Scripted almost. Don't blame me for having suspicions. Girlfriend was married to Tom Cruise for ten years. There's just something a smidge inauthentic about the whole deal.

On naming her daughter Sunday Rose, Nicole tells Opes that Sunday is her and Keith's favourite day of the week. "If you're lonely, Sundays are a very lonely day. If you're happy and you've got your family and the things around you then Sunday is a beautiful day."

Is that what we're doing these days? Done. My first born is gonna be christened Friday Night.

In terms of high powered Aussie actresses in Hollywood, I far prefer Cate Blanchett. I adore Cate Blanchett. She lives a low-key life in Sydney with her husband and three sons, none of which she made a massive hooha about when she birthed them. She's supremely talented. She's incredibly beautiful, and natural. She's not interested in the press, and she continues to do the most amazing work. She can go from Bob Dylan to Queen Elizabeth to an Indiana Jones baddie without a care. Huzzah, Cate!

Meanwhile, Nicky Kidman struggles to move her forehead and has a husband who looks like he hogs all the time in the family mirror - and the family set of GHDs.

A woman scorned - still

I know, I know, more Jennifer Aniston. I do apologise. Girlfriend complains that people only ever refer to her in terms of that Brad Pitt-Angelina Jolie love mess, but she's the one that keeps referring to it!

Jen graces the cover of US Vogue's December issue, and while the issue isn't on newsstands or online yet plenty of the interview has leaked. On the cover Aniston sports a red dress and a headline next to her head which reads ‘Jennifer Aniston: What Angelina Did Was Very Uncool.'

Oh no she didn't! Oh yes she did! Aniston just dissed St Angelina of Jolie.

Turns out what she was referring to was Angelina's declaration several months ago that she and worn-out babydaddy Brad Pitt fell in love on the set of Mr and Mrs Smith in 2004 - while he was so still married to Jen.

"There was stuff printed there that was definitely from a time when I was unaware that it was happening.

"I felt those details were a little inappropriate to discuss."

"That stuff about how she couldn't wait to get to work every day? That was really uncool."

She goes on to reveal that she still speaks to Brad, and says their divorce was "never that bad."

"I mean, look, it's not like divorce is something that you go, ‘Ooooh, I can't wait to get divorced!' It doesn't feel like a tickle.

‘But I've got to tell you, it's so vague at this point, it's so faraway in my mind, I can't even remember the darkness."

Good for you, missus. I do feel a bit sorry for Jen. Yes, this temptress obviously spirited your husband away with her hypnotic vagina and her adorable orphan children. It sucks. But if you're over it, why bring up Angie to sell magazines?

Let's face it. Angelina Jolie is younger, more charitable, and better looking than Jennifer Aniston. She has more kids, an Oscar, and the guy in question. She can't compete with that. None of us can. But the difference is, we're not trying to.

And before she finishes up with reporter Jonathan Van Meter, Jen says this of her ex-boyfriend-turned-boyfriend-again John Mayer, who held an impromptu press conference after their split to tell everyone it was he that did the dumping.

"Trust me, you'll never see that happen again from that man."

I can hear the whip cracking from here!

Insults: The sincerest form of flattery?

It's been noticed round the gossip traps that Christina Aguilera's latest stage look bears more than a passing resemblance to New York dance diva Stefania Germanotta, aka Lady GaGa.

Christina may have had some kind words to say about Britney Spears lately, but when the LA Times mentioned the similarity between her and GaGa to Mrs Bratman, she wasn't feeling so charitable.

"You know, it's funny that you mention that. This person was just brought to my attention not too long ago. I'm not quite sure who this person is, to be honest. I don't know if it is a man or a woman. I just wasn't sure. I really don't spend any time on the Internet, so I guess I live under a little rock in that respect."

Burn!

Just for the record, I'll attach a couple of pics. One is of Lady Gaga at a performance in May. The other is of Christina performing at the MTV Video Music Awards in October.

You be the judge.

Spotted

Britney Spears, son Jayden (now out of hospital) and sister Jamie Lynn at a Louisiana alligator farm...Amy Winehouse, sporting a curly hairdo and offering paps cheese on toast outside her north London home...David and Victoria Beckham lunching at Japanese restaurant Matsuhisa in LA...Claudia Schiffer dropping the kids off at school in London...Toni Collette out shopping in LA with baby daughter Sage...Heidi Klum and Seal going through airport security at LAX...