It's all over, Rover. After four controversial months, ruthless maneater Sienna Miller has said 'sayonara' to her very married lover, TV star Balthazar Getty, and she's shouting her singledom from the rooftops.

Miller, currently in London, told US Weekly: "I'm single at the moment, and I'm completely happy with that.

"It's nice not to have a relationship that the press constantly want to scrutinize and discuss.

"I'm cool with being on my own."

It's unclear who dumped who, but unhappy rumblings had been circulating round the gossip traps for some time. After an extremely passionate start to their affair, prompting the use of the word ‘cavorting' from many media agencies, Miller was said to be unimpressed with her lover's reluctance to file for divorce from his wife of eight years, Rosetta Millington Getty. Balthazar, on the other hand, wasn't too thrilled with Sienna's propensity to party most hearty.

Guess the rose-tint went out of those spectacles pretty rapidly. ‘Twas only July when the snaps of Getty and Miller (sans bikini top) frolicking on a yacht moored off Italy's Amalfi Coast were published all around the world.

Getty soon afterwards issued a statement declaring that he and his wife had been separated for some time, which apparently was news to Rosetta and their four kids.

Sienna, though, didn't take the huge press interest lying down and twice successfully sued media outlets in the US and UK for ‘invasion of privacy.' The Sun and News of the World were forced to hand over Ms Miller thirty five thousand quid and a grovelling apology just yesterday for running pictures of her which breached said privacy.

Note to the starlet with loose morals: if you don't want you privacy invaded, don't parade around with your hooters out and pashing someone else's husband in one of the busiest holiday spots in coastal Europe. That is all.

Rosetta Millington is a clothing designer and extremely influential in Hollywood, with dozens of wealthy and famous friends. After Sienna blacklisted herself from the cream of London celebritydom after ditching her ex, Welsh ruffian Rhys Ifans, she's now alienated herself from a lot of Hollywood after breaking up Rosetta's marriage.

Which begs the question: who'll be next in slutty Sienna's sights? Suggestions below, please.

And just for a giggle, here's a pic of the handiwork of someone most certainly on Team Rosetta: the word ‘SLUT' spray painted on Sienna's North London home.

Rage against the Madonna machine

She may be half a century old, a 25-year icon of the entertainment biz, and a woman who caused controversy and broke down barriers wherever she went, but one thing Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone Penn Ritchie certainly is not is a chilled out mama.

Sons Rocco and David recently landed in the UK to spend some time with their father, Guy Ritchie. Guy hasn't seen much of his kids since his split with Madonna was announced in mid-October.

Ever the control freak, English papers are reporting that Madonna let the boys fly back from the US to visit their father - on the proviso that he adhered to her 12 conditions. Sent over by her PA. Only 12, Madonna? I think you're going a little soft...

These included no TV, magazine or DVD exposure for the boys. No non-organic food. They were to wear no clothes not chosen by her. There was to be no divorce talk. The brothers must drink only Kabbalah water. They're banned from playing with ‘spiritually or ethically unsound toys.' They should not be photographed. And Guy should read them only bedtime stories written by Madonna.

I don't know Madonna. What she dictates on high from her anti-ageing cocoon doesn't affect my life in any way, but, nevertheless, she is getting on my wick.

She may not like it, but Guy Ritchie is as much of a parent to those boys as she is. I'm sure Madonna's got such a high opinion of herself that she'd believe she could fertilise herself if she only put her mind to it, but sperm meets egg, people. Ain't no way around it.

Guy doesn't need Madonna's money in any divorce settlement, but he's desperate for his kids to be raised in the UK - which may be why he's submitting to Madonna's ridiculous demands. Mind you, we only know that she issued them, we don't know if he actually has any intention to follow them.

If I was him, I'd take those kids for a cheeseburger and a full-strength Coke, read them the Harry Potter books, buy them some Lego, and let them watch DVDs aplenty. Send them back to Her Madgesty jumped up on sugar and full of ‘spiritually or ethically unsound' ideas.

Go on, Guy. I dare you!

Beyonce's leotard-loving ways

Barack Obama's recent victory in the US Presidential race has inspired Beyonce Knowles to break down some barriers of her own. In a less world-changing way, naturally.

The singer-actress has been lobbying hard to land the fiercely contested part of Wonder Woman, as Hollywood plans to give the leotard-clad one her own superhero movie.

"I want to do a superhero movie and what would be better than Wonder Woman?" she said to the LA Times. "It would be great. And it would be a very bold choice. A black Wonder Woman would be a powerful thing. It's time for that, right?"

Mrs Carter was inspired by seeing Lynda Carter's original Wonder Woman costume from the TV series at a recent museum exhibition, telling the paper that the actress was "so fine" and that "her waist was unbelievable."

I have no doubt Beyonce would look amazing in that Wonder Woman costume. She's a beautiful woman with an eye-poppingly great body. What I'm not so sure about is her acting ability - but then, do you really need to be a good actor to grace the screen in a superhero flick? Lots of them are totally cheesy, after all.

Mind you, I bet Christian Bale, Edward Norton, Tobey Maguire and Robert Downey Jr. have something to say about that. They've all taken the playing field for superhero flicks up a notch. (Okay, maybe not Ed Norton). Could Beyonce foot it with the cinematic heavyweights?

Spotted

Marcia Cross leaving a nail salon in Santa Monica...Jennifer Aniston leaving a Beverly Hills medical centre...Antonio Banderas lunching at pop-infested Beverly Hills eatery Mr Chow...Natalie Portman on a night shoot for her new flick in NYC...Adrian Grenier shopping in Miami...Eve going through security at LAX's international terminal...Jason Statham pumping gas in Hollywood...Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel leaving his restaurant Southern Hospitality in NYC...