The 33-year-old hightailed it to LA after handing in his notice to BBC bosses for some comedy dates in the Californian city - sources say his material is remarkably toned down.

And after hitting Hollywood's silver screen in the comedy Forgetting Sarah Marshall, UK papers are reporting that he's in negotiations to star in the fourth Pirates of the Caribbean film - as Jonathan Sparrow, the younger brother of Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow. Combined with Keith Richards, who played Captain Jack's father in the third Pirates flick, the trio would make up a hard-living, lady-killing sort of bunch.

"There couldn't be a role more perfectly suited," a source told The Sun. "There's a lot of Jack Sparrow in his mannerisms and behaviour. Depp's accent isn't a million miles away from Russell's either."

I think he'd be ideal for the part - his long-haired, eyeliner loving look is just the ticket for entry into the Sparrow family. Russell and Johnny would make quite the pair. The question I'd have is why they're considering making a fourth Pirates of the Caribbean flick? The first one was great and the quality declined rapidly as the trilogy went on.

Dead Man's Chest was so dreary that when I interviewed star Geoffrey Rush, prior to the release of the third flick At World's End, he admitted that his own kids had found the second Pirates flick a bit boring. I'd give you a verdict on the third and final one, but I've always fallen asleep halfway through.

Brand, who has referred to himself as ‘an S&M Willy Wonka,' has endured worse than the recent BBC controversy. He's a recovered heroin and sex addict, although still has a notorious eye for the ladies. He was fired from British MTV after turning up for work on September 12, 2001, dressed as Osama bin Laden.

Americans may not completely get his sense of humour, but they're rather intrigued by him - and despite their better judgment girls of all ages seem to have quite a soft spot for the back combed, tight-trousered look he's got going on.

The hardest working woman in Tinseltown

Tyra may not appreciate me saying this, but Heidi Klum must have one hell of a work ethic. Not only is the supermodel a mother of three and renowned for a tres romantic relationship with her husband of several years, Seal, but she successfully manages to keep a lot of balls in the air career-wise.

She's hosted the Emmys. She designs jewellery, jeans and sandals for Birkenstock. She's the face of American Project Runway, one of my very favourite reality shows with the divine Tim Gunn (‘make it work, people!'). In the last two days I've seen her pop up in ads for milk and Guitar Hero, while managing to host Hollywood's most renowned annual Halloween bash, where the woman herself spares nothing in her quest for a dramatic October 31 costume.

But not everyone was a fan of this year's effort - Heidi's divine interpretation of the many-limbed, blue skinned Indian goddess Kali. She looked awesome, but apparently some American Hindus were not impressed. They've asked Heidi to apologise for dressing up as the revered goddess.

Would you apologise for a Halloween outfit that might offend somebody? After all, no one's calling for all those who dressed up as Jesus, the Pope, or a deceased Heath Ledger to make amends.

Are you Hindu? Are you offended by Heidi's outfit? Or is it all a storm in her very bountiful D-cup?

I do, I do: Mel B to renew vows

I can almost smell the desperation from here. Melanie Brown Gulzar Belafonte, aka Scary Spice, married current husband Stephen Belafonte in a hush-hush Vegas ceremony in June last year. She didn't let it slip that they'd actually tied the knot for a couple of months. When she did, no one was particularly bothered.

A year and a half later, Mel and Stephen must have missed having an English tabloid style memento with which to reminisce about their wedding day, and have decided to renew their vows and take OK! magazine along for the ride.

And the venue for these glitzy nuptials? None other than the seaside town of...Cannes, I hear you say? Italy's Cinque Terre? The Bahamas? Somewhere in Brazil? Wrong, wrong, and wrong. The answer would be Hurghada, Egypt.

Hurghada, a diving town and package holiday destination for Europeans looking for a cheap getaway, must have some fancy resorts fit for a former Spice Girl's wedding. It must. But if it does, I didn't see them. I was in Hurghada several years ago and most of what I remember from the place was a blessed branch of McDonald's (sweet relief after six weeks in the Middle East) and a lot of dusty roads.

Mel's pay cheque from OK!, naturally, is dependent on her dragging in a number of celebs to celebrate with her and ensure copies of the mag get sold. But assuming her four fellow Spice Girls will be there makes, as the old adage goes, an ass out of u and me.

Victoria and David Beckham have declined the invitation, citing work commitments. Melanie C is extremely pregnant. Geri loves a bit of publicity and will probably be there with her cute as a button daughter Bluebell Madonna. The more I hear that name, the more I like it! Although I don't think I could ever bestow it on a child.

But UK tabloids have been whispering that Mel's been forced to invite British celebs she barely knows or has never met at all in the hope of keeping her huge payday from the mag. Mel's even paying to get her guests to Egypt - but even this wasn't enough to tempt TV hosts Denise Van Outen and Fearne Cotton, and Girls Aloud's Sarah Harding to the happy event. They've all declined.

It's a circus alright

It's well known now that in little over a month, on December 2 (her 27th birthday), Britney Spears will be releasing her new album, Circus.

Last week the album's cover was released to the public, and I'd like to know what you think of it.

Naturally, she looks pretty. I wouldn't expect much less from her camp's ‘Britney's fiiiiine. No really, she is' campaign. She's looked hot on most of her album covers (the body on the cover of her greatest hits? Wow!), bar Blackout. But Britney - Photoshop much? It doesn't even really look like pop's resurrected princess. And it looks like someone's smeared Vaseline all over the camera lens for a heavy-handed soft focus approach.

I won't be buying Britney's album. I've never bought one- but my tastes are more Queens of the Stone Age than the one time princess of pop. But I hope, for her sake, it sells by the truckload.

Spotted

Hilary Swank leaving a polling booth in Hollywood after doing some volunteer work...Pierce Brosnan leaving swanky Beverly Hills restaurant Mr Chow with a doggy bag...Jessica Alba looking dowdy on the set of her new movie An Invisible Sign of My Own in New York...A leather-clad Victoria Beckham arriving at Heathrow airport off a flight from LA...Pink celebrating the release of her new album at London's Café de Paris...Gwyneth Paltrow wearing a rather odd, but no doubt expensive designer dress at the premiere of her new flick Two Lovers in Paris...Snoop Dogg dressed to the nines at Flemington racecourse for the Melbourne Cup...