If the Day's to be believed we should all be getting in early to buy our hats for the wedding.
"She's taken with his pretty boy looks and loves the fact that he's an even bigger movie star than Brad!" says the mag. New Idea has also run with the Jen and Leo story, but two rumours does not a truth make!
What is true is that the Aniston, along with about 50 other celebrities, was at Leo's house to film a public service announcement about enrolling to vote for the upcoming American election.
While at Chez Leo Jen's staff seemed to take a leaf out of the Eva Longoria book of starting a rumour no one else is talking about by denying it in the press. A non-pregnancy, anyone? "While Jen was inside, her bodyguard was outside warning photographers "Don't start any rumours."
I'm not down on the Aniston but I really don't see this going anywhere, even on paper. He goes for supermodels. She's obsessively hung up on her body. He's one of the most eco-friendly celebs in Hollywood. She drives a huge four wheel drive and loves private jet trips to Mexico. He's notoriously private. She's a paparazzi favourite.
And the Day's report that ‘it was obvious' the actress ‘was in full-on cougar mode' while visiting the actor's house just makes her sounds a bit desperate.
Meanwhile, the Weekly reckons she's "devised a desperate love plan" to win back her douchebag ex, John Mayer. Woman! Keep some dignity!
That girl could be married with ten kids and the mags would still be running stories about how she was sad, lonely, and wants Brad back.
Holy Xenu! After a week running a cover with Hollywood's cutest little alien child Suri Cruise, Woman's Day this week opts for her robomama Katie Holmes. This week you'll find photos of Katie looking relatively glum, and an accompanying story about how she's readying to distance herself from Scientology - the only thing hubby Tom Cruise loves more than pointing at people, wearing Ray-Bans and using the word ‘glib.'
Independent (I use the term in a relative sense, of course) in New York, Katie has apparently started questioning some of the religion's rules and practices. She ‘got bold' to her toothy husband and let him know that she'd support him professionally, but not when it comes to matters of religion.
"Scientology is everything to him and he can't imagine it not guiding their lives and relationship," reports the mag. "He's been trying to talk her out of leaving by pointing out how great Scientology is."
Scientologists are encouraged to cut all ties with friends and family members who chose to leave the church. Nicole Kidman's dissatisfaction with the religion and a yearning to re-embrace her Catholic roots are long rumoured to be the reason Tom dumped her ass almost eight years ago.
On a different TomKat tack, photos of Katie in her newest TV guest spot on US show Eli Stone in a couple of the mags this week prove (to me, at least) that she's got all the natural sexiness of a pile of mashed potato.
Legendary All Black fullback Christian Cullen is back on home turf and in the Weekly with a few grey hairs and a cute little Cullen - lookalike son Cole. His partner Mandy had an easy labour but prepared for the birth by "watching other women's birth videos on YouTube."
This troubles me in so many ways. First, people put that shit on YouTube? Other people hardly want to see your holiday snaps or your seven-hour wedding video, people. I doubt they want to see up your birth canal. And secondly, that must be some traumatic online viewing. I think I'll stick to clips of The Royle Family.
Spare a thought for Paul Newman who died last weekend and was one of Hollywood's most dashing leading men in his day. Sigh! I paid tribute to a legend and my own belly by stocking up on Newman's Own tasty dressings at the Woolies this weekend. Who has a tribute.
Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds tied the not Canadian style last week and Who magazine has ‘All the intimate details!' The low-key actress and her 31-year-old beau headed to his native Canada for the big day, tying the knot at an idyllic wilderness resort on Vancouver Island, British Columbia. Less than 40 people attended
Pre-wedding activities included salmon and halibut fishing, horse riding and mountain biking. Post-wedding activities included me yawning while reading about their boring pre-wedding activities.
"There's a lot of heat between them," a friend is quoted in the mag as saying. "A ton of chemistry on a sexual and intellectual level."
Congrats, you two! The couple have been together for 18 months. I give it three to five years, tops.
Where would our weekly mags be without some liberal analysis of the lives of Angelina Jolie and her graying babydaddy, Brad Pitt? In the week when Angelina made her first public appearance since the birth of twins Knox and Vivienne (at the New York premiere of her movie The Changeling), New Idea reports that the 33-year-old mother of six has admitted she needs help to deal with her post-baby mood swings. Their cover is a composite photo, too. Not a bad thing! I just noticed that those two never wore those particular outfits at a joint public appearance. I swear, I do have a life!
In the past Angie has ‘fessed up to lesbian flings, making sexy times with ex-husband Billy Bob Thornton in the limo on the way to a movie premiere, and using knives in foreplay. I suspect if she suffered from post-natal depression she'd have no problem talking about it to help other women.
Apparently slim as a whippet Angie has been fretting over her figure, understandable since she gave birth three months ago, but if you check out shots from the Changeling premiere you'll see Ms Jolie has nothing to worry about in that department. You could see her Spanx, but she still looked hot to trot.
The family's moved to Berlin where Brad is working on Quentin Tarantino's new movie Inglorious Bastards, and apparently the German press were shocked and appalled when Brad turned up looking rather worn out on set.
"Reports described him as looking exceptionally weary, with bags under his eyes, worry lines on his forehead and flecks of grey in his scraggly beard."
Don't get too excited about the New Idea's news that Rachael Ray won't be able to talk for two months after surgery on her throat. The TV host's people say it's a minor procedure and she'll be back to saying E-V-O-O in no time.
Anne Hathaway has her eye on George Clooney?!?! They'd be a great couple!
The Day reports she's asked a mutual friend to fix them up. And could Demi Moore be pregnant? And would classy Jemima Khan really go for ‘my other outfit's a thong' cricketer Shane Warne? I'll keep you posted.
And that's all from the mags this week!
International Emmys bring out the stars
David Frost honored at International Emmys
13 is Nicole Fox's lucky number
