This is the girl who has proclaimed for a while now that she wants to be known for her body of work, not just who wants to work her body. Sienna has been hounded by paparazzi non-stop since she ran off with TV star, former drug addict and 90s heart-throb Balthazar Getty, leaving his wife and four kids in the dust.

Granted, Sienna and Balthazar were hardly playing it coy, or hard to find. When Rosetta Getty fled with her kids to Italy following the allegations, her husband and the blonde starlet followed on vacation, only to be snapped cavorting topless in front of the world's cameras. Oh, and with her mother looking on.

After rumours of Getty begging his wife for another chance, he's still under the spell of the most hypnotic vagina in Hollywood. Wait, that's Angelina Jolie's. Gold for Angie, Sienna for the silver. Balthazar and Miller are still going strong, but Sienna didn't care too much for the swarm of photographers who descended on her when she stopped to fill up with gas in Hollywood.

"I can't live like this, please give me a little bit of respect," the starlet cried as she got confused between Regular and Unleaded. "I'm just trying to f**king fill up my car."

She's making a good attempt at the wah-wah face, but I don't see any waterworks. Damn Sienna, you're supposed to be an actress. Can't you bite the inside of your cheek or something?

You wanna dance with the Hollywood devil, don't be surprised when the band wants paying. That sounded a lot better in my head, but I'm leaving it there, cause I'm reckless that way.

Since Ms Miller burst on to the scene there are like a million little girls called Sienna running around now. Here's hoping they don't inherit her sluttypants ways. And, pregnant ladies, how about considering Anna for your next born? Bring back a trend last popular in the late seventies and early eighties.

Back to the drawing board for Tom 

Tommy Girl Cruise hit the homing pigeon button on his robo-wife, Katie Holmes, earlier this week, prompting her to fly back from the Big Apple to be by his side at the premiere of the new Ben Stiller vehicle Tropic Thunder in Los Angeles. And back the next day. Tommy's a hard taskmaster.

A new Ben Stiller movie pleases me. Sure, he's had his turds, but I can't forget the glory that was Zoolander. Pursed lips, walk offs, a David Bowie cameo, and heavy on the hair gel! What's not to love? Plus, a movie where Jack Black and Robert Downey Jr join forced has got to be good.

Anyway, Tom Cruise makes a cameo in the flick and apparently has been working out like crazy for the premiere. After all that working out let's just say he needed to go and see Tim Gunn on Project Runway, because his outfit needs some work.

Sunglasses at night? One douchepoint. But even Tommy's shades can't distract me from the suit jacket (worn with jeans, a particular peeve of mine) which boasts a satin sheen. It's shiny, people. You could almost see your reflection in that shit. Katie accessorised with the haircut my Mum had in 1985.

Scientologists must be immune to the heat as well as possessing other assorted superpowers (praise Xenu!) because in the heat of a steamy LA August, Tommy teamed a jaunty white shirt with a purple jumper under said jacket. There's a reason Jerry Falwell bagged out Tinkywinky, the purple (and my favourite) Teletubby. Purple! The international colour of gay pride! Does Tom Tom know that? Maybe John Travolta dared him to.

On the other hand, Jack Black totally rocked it in a jacket complete with lightning storm! Bringing together fashion and weather! Best jacket ever.

Does my head look big in this?

Don't make the mistake of thinking that it's just the ladies that are vain about their looks in Hollywood, oh no! ‘Comedian' (and I use that term loosely) Dane Cook has gone to MySpace to blog about the promo poster for his upcoming movie My Best Friend's Girl, co-starring Kate Hudson and Jason Biggs.

I wouldn't rush out to see it. Dane Cook is not funny, yet seems to insist he is. I could call myself Queen of the Universe, yet because I say it, doesn't necessarily make it so. I was stuck on a plane once where the only flick on board was the Dane Cook-Jessica Simpson piece of trash Employee Of The Month. Now I like trashy entertainment as much as the next person, but preferred to turn that off after ten minutes and stare at the back of the seat rather than watch that movie. There's no accounting for taste, though. The person sitting in front of me laughed the whole way from Sydney to Auckland.

Anyway, Dane's got the hump over said poster, informing his faithful fans that he had no hand in the marketing of the flick. He says it's his best work yet, and the cast "really kicks the funny around." Really kicked the funny to death, you mean? The funny was begging for mercy, and Dane Cook wouldn't listen!

Then in the gospel according to Dane, Cook lists all the reasons why the movie poster "truly blows."

Among them: ‘The left side of my face seems to be melting off my skull,' ‘It looks like I'm wearing Maybelline Water Shine Diamonds Liquid Lipstick (how was he so brand specific?); and moans about the height of his collar ("I mean damn, they should be snow capped at that altitude.")

A woman of the people

I've always had a bit of a soft spot for Geri Halliwell. She's plucky, she's outspoken, and she's made the most of the talent that she's got. She always seemed a real girl with real problems, in comparison to someone like Victoria Beckham, who's got a bit of the cyborg about her.

Not this time. Hello! magazine is running a 15-page special this week on Geri vacationing in Mexico with adorable daughter Bluebell Madonna. Geri is snapped in a tiny white bikini, and her body looks amazing. Amazing! I would give my pinky finger for a banging body like that. And she's had a child. Sigh!

Anyway, we all know Geri's had long-term issues with eating and her body image, which made me feel kind of pleased for her coming to terms with her figure and being happy with it. She expresses doubt about the way she looks, saying she's self conscious like any other woman. Up solidarity! Sisterhood of the travelling bikini pants!

That is, until this.

"'People think I'm really confident but I do get self-conscious like many women about stripping off in public. I haven't been willingly photographed in a bikini for seven years - and I don't think I'll do it again. At the moment, I'm a bit curvier, having done the tour, so it was a big mental step forward for me to show my natural self, rather than my worked-out, honed self."

Curvier? Back the truck up, Ginger. Queen Latifah is curvy. Jennifer Hudson is curvy. Geri Halliwell is a featherweight. Don't tell me this girl knew a worldwide magazine was going to be shooting her in her swimsuit and she decided to chill out, eat a plate of nachos and show the camera what her body looks like when she doesn't work out?

Pfff. Geri would have been one of those girls at school who claimed they never had to exercise. Next thing you know you find them frantically doing sit ups in their walk-in wardrobe.

A pair of boobs doesn't a curvy woman make when the rest of you is straight up and down.

That is all.