Anderson Cooper is a legend. From the funny 'cause it's true files, a clip of the CNN news anchor is doing the rounds of the blogs today in which the legendary newsman professes his disgust for the reality TV show Living Lohan.

Check it out here.

While co-host Kelly Ripa professes a soft spot for Project Runway, Anderson declares that he's watched Living Lohan several times until reality kicked in, and elaborates on his mortification that "I cannot believe I'm wasting a minute of my life watching these horrific people."

He's hilariously confused about a reality show based around a woman whose daughter is famous, but never appears on camera, and another daughter is "allegedly a 14-year-old girl, looks to be about 60." ("I say that with concern and love," he adds after Kelly shushes him).

They're obviously a multi-talented family," says Ripa, trying to defuse the situation.

"Maybe that was the show I didn't see," shoots back Anderson.

Oh yes he did! The Silver Fox! What a legend. The gossip world awaited a reply from Dina Lohan, never short on a response. And what did she come up with?

"People are just cruel! This is bad karma for him." She told OK! magazine.

Bad karma! Forget that, give the guy a sainthood for standing up against the tyranny of shitty reality TV. Come on, Pope Benedict. If you can fly all the way to Sydney you can get your holy butt to New York and bless this marvellous, marvellous man.

Oh, and word coming out of the States that Pamela Anderson's E! reality show, Pam: Girl On The Loose, is turning out to be a steaming great turd after just one week. Pam's show pulled in 27 per cent less eyeballs than both Living Lohan and Denise Richards: It's Complicated did on their network debuts in May.

 

Bigger is definitely better for Katie

Speaking of women with humungous breasts...Jordan is back, bitches. Katie Price, aka Jordan, is in Los Angeles for what she told the paps at Heathrow would be a breast reduction. Seems Katie changed her mind somewhere over the Atlantic. She told waiting paps outside a doctor's office in Beverly Hills that she's on a mission to construct the "biggest tits in Britain."

She may be out of luck. Isn't Prince Charles the biggest tit in Britain ? I kid, I kid.

The former glamour model has a way to go before she can beat former rival Jodie Marsh's appalling 32GG chest. Those things are just wrong.

Is there anyone more perfect for LA than Jordan? She loves big hair. She loves fake tan and caking on the makeup, possibly as much as Peter does. And she embraces plenty of pink, matching outfits, and sucking up the media attention like a kitchen sponge.

 

Feeling hot hot hot 

Of course, all the regular celeb hubs are pretty empty throughout July and August, as those with the spare time and the spare income head for the beaches through the northern summer. Europe's Mediterranean beaches, naturally, are the place to be, and the paps have snapped celebs frolicking everywhere from Sardinia to St Tropez.

There's only so many fabulous yachts to go round, which has made for some strange bedfellows while holidaying. While some, like George Clooney and Cindy Crawford, are already long time pals, I can stake money on the fact that you never thought you'd see Kate Moss and Sly Stallone holidaying together. Yet there they be, on Topshop boss Sir Philip Green's yacht off the coast of Formentera. What on earth they could find to talk about, I don't know. It'd go a little something like this.

Him: "Adriaaaaaan!"

She: "The name's Kate, you daft prick."

 

You go, girlfriend! 

I almost don't want to know why fancy pants mag Harper's Bazaar has a spread this month with Tyra Banks dressed up like America's maybe future First Lady, Michelle Obama. From the runway to the Oval Office the mag declares breathlessly, everything is possible for Tyra Banks. See Tyra and her fivehead looking suitably fierce in a makeshift Oval Office, dressed up black tie for a state dinner, and, this is the best one, reading in bed with a faux Barack while both wear Harvard sweatshirts.

The America's Next Top Model host ‘loves' the fact that Michelle Obama is tall, advises she attempt to "take a fierce picture," and wants her "to feel like every child in America is hers."

Don't know if that's suitable for foreign policy, but it may just work on Carla Bruni-Sarkozy.

 

Not a sight for sore eyes

Now, if your eyes weren't too badly soiled by the picture of Katie Holmes' fashion crime jeans I ran yesterday, take a look at this.

Once upon a time Tori Spelling was a terrible actress whose rich father put her, quite unwisely, on TV. Critics accused her of being talentless and having been dealt the losing hand in the looks department. They were right. Years later, she ran off with a married Z-list Canadian actor who thought he was winning the golddigger's jackpot - until his wife's father died and she got two-tenths of sweet fanny adams.

Now, two years and two kids later, Tori and Dean and shooting promotional material for their new reality show, Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood, dressed up as some of Tinseltown's most famous couples. It's a journey we can take together, my friends. Laugh as Dean looks like someone you'd find dressed up as Sonny Bono drunk in the corner of a costume party. Cry at their imitation Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love. Shudder as Tori's Lucille Ball looks like a drag queen from the depths of all that is dark and evil.

I try not to poke fun at people's looks too often but there, my friends, is truly a face for radio. Like the sun sets in the west and Paris Hilton will eternally be plagued by the scent of skank, Tori Spelling is doomed to a life of fug.