Has everyone been drinking the Kool-Aid this week? First I read three gory stories about nutjobs around the globe chopping off people's heads, and wonder if there's a gory trend emerging. Could decapitation be the new black? I hope not. I'm quite attached to my noggin. Remember people, friends don't let friends chop off people's heads. And if they do, stop being their friend. You could be next.

But I digress. Next up was word from the balmy Caribbean that curvy Hairspray cutie Nikki Blonsky had been arrested after an argument about departure lounge seats at the airport turned into an all out brawl.

What began as a war of words turned into a full on smackdown with former America's Next Top Model contestant Bianca Golden and her family. Bianca and Nikki were both arrested and bailed for assault, while Nikki's dad Carl remains in an Antigua jail charged with grievous bodily harm. Bianca's mum had to be airlifted to Miami where she's in hospital with a cracked skull and a broken nose.

Word is the fight broke out after some nasty racial slurs were flung about, which totally isn't the message of Hairspray. Mind you, that Bianca was known as the angry, lippy one on that last season of America's Next Top Model. One too many rum punches and it all would have been on.

Nikki turned up to court in a neck brace later in the week, which makes me suspect Bianca got the upper hand. I don't doubt it. Blonsky may have the bulk, but those mouthy girls from Queens always look like they could fight dirty. Like Nanny Fine off The Nanny. Those acrylic nails could really do some damage.

There's a clip of the fight's aftermath doing the rounds online, where Nikki's mum protests her daughter's innocence and, according to the dlisted, boasts some of the best video commentary I've heard in many a year.

"This young lady here with the green shirt, she done decked a girl out - Tracy Turnblad. Poor girl over there devastated, she ain't dancing around today. Is that my airplane?! Is that my flight? Cause I gotta go!!!"

A denim disaster

In the words of Project Runway's legendary Tim Gunn, this troubles me. I mentioned in In The Gossip Mags yesterday that Katie Holmes had been snapped out and about while in New York rehearsing for her Broadway play, All My Sons, in a pair of jeans so horrendous they will literally assault your eyeballs. And I am not exaggerating. And she's worn them on two separate occasions!

This girl is supposed to be on the cutting edge of fashion? Puh-lease! These look like the pants MC Hammer wears if he was going to collect tuatuas up north.

I suspect being with Katie in New York and Tom in LA. Tommy Girl's remote control isn't working, and some chips on his Robo-bride have short circuited. You find Victoria Beckham in some ludicrous haute couture, but she would die before she wore an outfit that made her look - gasp! - daggy.

What on earth could Tom have to gain with his wife dressing like a 12-year-old boy? Wait, don't answer that. Could be libellous.

Curse of the Dark Knight

Now call me a conspiracy theorist, but I'm sure I'm not alone in wondering if there's a Batman curse on the star's of this year's super-duper successful box office smash, The Dark Knight After Heath Ledger's death and Christian Bale's arrest for assault, the latest cast member to go down is Morgan Freeman, who broke his arm and his shoulder in a serious car crash in Mississippi over the weekend. Lock your doors Gary Oldman, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Aaron Eckhart. You're next!

Freeman is said to be doing well in hospital, despite he and his female passenger (not his wife of 25 years, btw) having to be rescued by the Jaws of Life from the wrecked car. Word is when a passer by started snapping pictures of the actor on a cellphone, Freeman jokingly protested "no freebies, no freebies."

What a class act. Morgan Freeman is a champ. Seven is one of my favourite movies ever; and you don't want to know how many times I've watched March of the Penguins. A lot. And he's got the coolest voice. It sounds like drinking a hot toddy.

The drama still drags on after Heath Ledger's death in January. Federal investigators have been interviewing the actor's friends, business associates and medical professionals over the past few months, trying to establish where Ledger accessed the huge number of prescription drugs which led to his death.

Everyone they've spoken to has co-operated, even Heath's ex Michelle Williams, but recent reports say Mary-Kate Olsen, despite protests that she had nothing to do with Ledger's death, won't speak to investigators unless she gets ‘immunity' from prosecution.

Let's back the truck up here guys. Mary-Kate was already up to her eyeballs in stink after it was revealed that the masseuse who found Heath's body called Mary-Kate three times before phoning an ambulance. That, to me, lands the tiny twin right in the thick of it anyway. But to demand immunity from something you say you've got nothing to do with?

Mary-Kate and Heath were known to be seeing each other (and shared a mutual bond of partying) in the months leading up to his death. A couple of the stashes of pills found at Heath's don't match up with prescriptions he was issued - meaning he could have acquired them through dodgy methods. Many people in Hollywood, E! Online's Ted Casablancas among them, believe Ledger's drug habit was a long-running and far more extensive problem than a few sleeping pills and painkillers.

Mary-Kate's attorney has issued a rather long-winded statement staking her claim for sainthood and denying she had anything to do with Heath's drugs. You can read it here. I wouldn't. It's boring.

Add it to the list

I have read this before, but news Diana Ross' adult daughter was in a car accident in LA has brought the hilarity of her name right back to the fore. It may not be as horrendous as Violence, Sex Fruit (my personal fave!), or Tallulah Does The Hula From Hawaii, but spare a thought for Chudney Ross. Chudney! WTF? Does she want some cheese and crackers with that Chudney? Hang your big haired head, Miss Ross. For shame, for shame.