It's investigated further in the New Idea. The couple, fans of the running shoes with jeans look last sported fetchingly by Jerry Seinfeld in the early nineties, married three years ago. He has a chin which could throw the tides out of whack. She dresses like an American tourist in Europe, going around Rome and squealing excitedly that "everything's so old." But I digress. Back to the trouble in paradise.

Ben loves high stakes poker and in fact was snapped at a poker night in Vegas just last week with best bud Matt Damon, whose wife Luciana had to make do with looking on, rigid with boredom, from the sidelines. Is there anything more boring than watching someone else gamble? It's right up there with watching someone else use the internet.

The mag's source reports that Ben has had occasions where he's lost almost $1 million in a night. "That's a problem, no matter how rich you are."

If he's losing that much in a night, doesn't that mean that he sucks at poker? Best off to the low stakes pokie machines for you, Ben.

Uma Thurman and her mega-rich Euro boyfriend are engaged! Arki Busson is a Swiss financier who had a long relationship with another tall, stunning celebrity - super-duper model Elle Macpherson. They had two kids with appropriately hoity toity names - Arpad Flynn Alexander and Aurelius Cy Andrea, respectively. They mingled with royalty and dressed their kids in humiliating olde worlde breeches. He proposed to but never married Macpherson, rumoured to be because she was a divorcee and he a strict Catholic - although not too strict, apparently, to worry about having two kids out of wedlock.

But Uma's been divorced twice, so what gives? I wouldn't blame you for forgetting about that burning question when you see Ms Thurman's engagement ring which is eye-poppingly large! "More than eight carats, surrounded by 22 smaller stones," says a source. No wonder Uma's smiling. That, and the wondrous nature of love of course.

Jenny from the Block turns Jenny from the Yacht as J-Lo and hubby Marc Anthony are snapped in the day unwinding off the coast of Tenerife with their baby twins in tow. Jen is back in a string bikini, which isn't unexpected when you find out the details of her workout regime.

She rises at 4am to fit in Pilates, cardio workouts and boxing sessions, combined with intense weight training and running on the treadmill for two hours a day. Yawn! That makes me yearn for a cup of tea and a lie down. Never mind her baby weight, more worrying is the size of an almost skeletal Marc Anthony. He's living up to his moniker amongst web bloggers, Skeletor.

Night of the living dead! Nicole Kidman is snapped looking like a zombie at husband Keith's recent concert in the Day, which certainly doesn't say much for the vitality of his live show. And the sleepless nights haven't even begun yet. Word to the wise, Keith. If she tries to eat your brains, I reckon your pre-nup is null and void.

Don't be fooled by the "Early Arrivals" trumpeted on the front of the Weekly. None of these babies have been born. Nicole Kidman's looks set to be delivered on time in Tennessee, which completely negates an ‘Early Arrivals' headline. Angie's twins aren't due for the next few weeks, according to her obstetrician, which would definitely not make them early for a delivery of twins. So what gives?

Now I love the thought of impending genetically-blessed Jolie-Pitt babies as much as the next person, but I am totally over this pre-birth hooha being touted by the mags every single week. How much more can they spin it out? I may be forced to go on a pre-birth Brangelina baby strike until the babies are born. They can go on my list of Those Who Shall Not Be Mentioned, along with Eva Longoria and Oprah. Damn, mentioned them. That doesn't count.

I'm also over this kerfuffle on Madonna's divorce. If the pair of them weren't thinking of getting divorced, why would they both retain the services of divorce lawyers? The real victim in all of this is Madonna's hair, which needs a good wash.

Madonna has denied the rumours of divorce, but she also denied adopting a child from Malawi right up to the point when she arrived home in London - with a child from Malawi. Mind you, if their only evidence of a divorce is photo of Guy putting his computer into the back of his car, there's a ways to go yet.

There's a good run down of it in the New Idea if you're interested.

There's a wee nip slip for Sienna Miller in the Day, furing the smutty story that she's carrying on with 90s heartthrob Balthazar Getty, a married father of four and former drug addict.

His wife has fled the country with the children, and it certainly seems there's something going on from pics I've seen of the pair snapped embracing in Prague. Sexy times!

She's got a trashy mag in tow, so let's remember that in case Sienna ends up on her high horse one day claiming that she never reads the tabloids.

Katie Holmes looks pretty on the front of the New Idea - now with 10% more humanity and reduced amounts of Robobride.

She's sounding human inside the mag as well, supposedly ‘shocked' after learning that some Scientology leaders physically abuse and deny kids raised in the faith a proper education. I am so shocked. Here I was thinking that growing up as a child Scientologist meant picking marshmallow flowers and frolicking down lollipop lane.

Katie's been reading testimony from disenchanted Scientologists, including Jenna Miscivage Hill - the niece of the religion's head honcho David Miscavige, who accompanied Tom and Katie on their honeymoon. Yes, two years later and I still find that very odd.

Honor Dillon's been dumped from the Olympic hockey team heading to Beijing, New Idea reports. But fear not, people! She had boyfriend Dan Carter's burly shoulder to cry on. The Christchurch girl had headed north for pre-Olympic training camps, and is now working full time in marketing for a brewery.

"I didn't really have any desire to to move to Auckland and I wasn't sure whether I'd like it. But it's really cool."

Take that, south of the Bombays!

Check out the NW to see the dramatic weight loss of Courtney Love, Nicky Hilton and Kristin Johnson. April Ieremia's also losing weight in the Weekly, which I'm gathering means she put back on all that weight she lost and detailed in a diary for the mag a few years ago?

And in health and safety gossip, Jade Jagger is papped in the back of the New Idea going for a wizz in the grass at Glastonbury. Don't do it, Jade! I was once all up for peeing au naturel at European musical festivals too - until my backside had an unfortunate meeting with a bunch of stinging nettles in an Irish field. I don't recommend.

And that's all from the mags this week!